or Why you should invite me into your fallout shelter
- I was certified as an Emergency Medical Technician in Massachusetts in 1984.
- I can make beer and wine from scratch.
- I cook without recipes and and am creative with substitutions.
- I am good at finding things.
- I can swim far.
- I have already survived malaria, paratyphus and typhoid.
- I can tell a joke on any topic you mention.
- I give a good shoulder rub.
- I have an axe, a crosscut saw, a sledge hammer and a wood splitter.
- I also have a good supply of binder clips and I know how to use them.
- I know how to live without a refrigerator, hot water heater, washing machine, dryer and dishwasher.
- After 39 years as an omnivorous science fiction fanatic, I am ready for virtually every post-apocalyptic nightmare that can be imagined.
(Marcie recently reminded me that I'm overdue for a list, and Nik's fascinating description of a 4am stroll got me thinking about how well prepared I am for life after an apocalypse. I may actually be less prepared for life without an apocalypse. My basic plan there is relying on my mother's lottery winnings. Mom tells me she still plays her 6/49 numbers every week and brings her tickets to an honest clerk. If she wins $10 million, I get a million and I'm sure that'll take care of everything.)