David Scrimshaw's Blog

Getting Ready for February 2

2012-01-29T17:18:00.002-05:00

How do you like my groundhog faces?

Free range poultry at Loblaws

2012-01-08T17:49:00.006-05:00

There was a pigeon swooping around inside the Loblaws on Rideau Street this afternoon.

This was not an advertised special.

As I far as I could tell, I was the only one who noticed it. I've seen little birds like sparrows in grocery stores before, but this was the first time I've seen a pigeon.

Maybe it's time they brought in some hawks or falcons.

Bonus link: Pigeon Photographers

Uses for Binder Clips: Laser Pencil

2011-11-24T21:33:00.003-05:00

Woodsy who is on a bit of a roll at Coloured Marbles lately has developed an excellent new use for a single binder clip. She says:

I unintentionally came up with another use for binder clips while fiddling during a long meeting.
I can now:
easily pick up my pencil (great for anyone with arthritis),
prevent the pencil from rolling off the meeting table,
prevent chewing my pencil (see the bite marks?), and
subtly aim it at speakers that are boring me and pretend it is a silencing laser!

One reason I check my spam folder

2011-11-13T15:43:00.002-05:00

Do you remember an old pre-internet letter we all used to get every couple of years? The letter had been around the world nine times and good luck would come if you copied it and mailed it to 20 people. The letter reported how various people with names like Constantine Dias and Aria Daddit had terrible things happen when they failed to forward the letter but then good things happened when they remembered the letter and followed the instructions.

This message that wound up in my spam folder today somehow reminded me of that old letter and made me wistful for it:

From: Detective Yasushi Uzawa Subject: RE:ARE YOU DEAD OR STILL ALIVE ???? To: Date: Sunday, November 13, 2011, 2:54 AM I am Detective Yasushi Uzawa, a Japanese, I am in charge of scammed victims compensation scheme propagated by the United Nations.My appointment came as a result of the meeting held by the United Nation Secretary General Mr. Ban Ki-Moon and African Leaders.

After series of meetings and deliberations, it was concluded that a foreigner should be the chairman, as the African citizens that held the post in the past made no difference; instead they worsen the situation, by defrauding the scammed victims more.

You are enlisted as one of scammed victms that shall will recieve a compensation of $800,000.00 US Dollars (Eight Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) The commission has mapped out modalities and procedures that shall enable you recieve the compensation . (i) You are to forward all the names and telephone numbers of people you have sent money in the past, this will enable us apprehend them and try to get the money you sent to them back. (ii)You are advised to stop forth contact with any government agencies, ministers, commissions, panels of any sort, apex banks or commercial banks, as the continuous contact with these agencies will complicate your transactions. (iii) Reconfirm the following information (a) Your full name and address, (b) Phone, fax and mobile #.

On this note, you are advised to indicate your interest by applying for the Deduction Certificate. This is the only chance to rightly get what belong to us from African Government; we have gone through a lot from Africans. Contact us now. Detective Yasushi Uzawa Executive Chairman scammed victims compensation scheme (SVCS)

A cursory Google search on Yasushi Uzawa turns up a scam email from 2009. It is good to see that he has now gone legitimate and is working for the other side. Unfortunately, I don't believe I've ever been scammed, so have no honest claim on the $800,000.00 US Dollars (Eight Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) he is offering.

Uses for Binder Clips: Cat Doors and ODD

2011-11-06T17:58:00.007-05:00

When you install your screened-in porch, you may find that your cat is reluctant to use her new swinging cat door.

At first, our cat Magi did not at all seem to like the idea of pushing against the screen flap.

Holding her and pushing her through resulted in very unpleasant struggles.

Young Zander tried to demonstrate by pushing his own head through. But perhaps because the rest of his body would not go through or perhaps because Magi suffers from Oppositional Defiance Disorder like everyone else in this household, Magi still did not take to the new door.

After Manon put a binder clip on the flap to keep it partly open, Magi got the idea she could enter and leave the porch on her own with no assistance. The binder clip was adjusted to have the flap lower and lower and now, Magi is in and out like she owns the place. With no assistance and no binder clip.

This should cut down on scratching damage to the screen door and demonstrates that sometimes the best way to deal with the oppositionally defiant is to let them come to the right decision in their own time.

Looks like Steampunk is mainstream

2011-10-27T18:31:00.004-04:00

Bad news for all you kids who thought steampunk is the cool insider cult thing. It's gone mainstream.

How do I know? What's my proof?

Judge the evidence for yourself.

Steampunk is costume idea #8 in Value Village's Alter your Ego campaign. It comes with its own little info sheet on a rack in between "Cowboy" and "Ninja".

We have too much stuff

2011-10-23T21:11:00.006-04:00

There are many signs that our society has become too materialistic.

The top-rated show on A&E is Storage Wars where we watch a group of colourful characters buy and sell the contents of storage lockers whose owners have defaulted on the monthly rent.

The top show on History TV is Pawn Stars where we watch a colourful Las Vegas family buy interesting items from people who never admit they're desperate to pay gambling debts.

History also has American Pickers and Canadian Pickers which each follow two guys who drive around buying stuff that fits the expression "one man's trash is another man's treasure."

Spike's highest rated show is Auction Hunters, another storage locker buying show.

A&E's Hoarders is also doing really well. If you're like me, you watch Hoarders and say, "at least I'm not that bad."

There are many more shows about acquiring stuff. The ones I know about and usually enjoy include Hardcore Pawn, Antiques Road Show (UK, US, Canada), Auction Kings, What the Sell, the very weird Oddities, and Pawnathon Canada.

But here's something that hit me this morning when we were on Catherine Street dropping Zander off at the bus station. See this storage locker building that is a block from Bank Street:

It used to be a bowling alley.

I'm not saying that a bowling alley is the absolute best use of downtown real estate, but it makes me sad that it was more economical for the owners of 270 Catherine to rip out the lanes, pins and ball returns and put in storage lockers.

Shouldn't we be bowling instead of acquiring so much stuff that it won't fit in our homes so we have to rent storage lockers?

Our Screened-in Porch

2011-10-16T19:15:00.006-04:00

One of the things that has distracted me from blogging for the past two months has been all the work being done on the ScrimChateau and Manonsion.

Last week, three projects got finished. The one that has made Manon the happiest is our porch. As you can see it is not just a porch. It is a screened-in porch. And it has been finished in time for her to sip tea, read a depressing novel and enjoy the sunset before winter sets in.

The carpenter who did the work is Kevin Miller. Lots of people, especially other trades workers, who have seen the work have told us they're really impressed. One element of craftmanship you can see in the photo - notice how the wood next to the wall matches the curves in the stucco? I don't know how he even did that.

Do you have a screened-in porch? It's a big deal in certain circles we hang out in.

Uses for Binder Clips: Wedding Presents

2011-10-11T21:43:00.005-04:00

The box of binder clips Real Grouchy gave Manon and me for our wedding was an excellent gift that keeps on giving.

What makes it especially good is that they were free binder clips. Real Grouchy has a relative who works somewhere that receives lots of documents. Apparently even though they tell the people submitting the documents not to clip them together, the submitters ignore the instructions and send in their documents with all manner and sizes of binder clips attaching them together.

Instead of throwing all these unneeded clips in the garbage, the relative saves them for Real Grouchy and he was able to spare some for us.

At his workplace back in May, Real Grouchy had an identity card machine. This meant he was able to make Manon and I official wedding cards.

I carry mine in my pocket.

Another Weekend, Another Festival

2011-08-07T11:42:00.002-04:00

We took the opportunity of being in Montreal this weekend to take in another festival. A downtown Montreal festival has a very different vibe from a festival in rural Eastern Ontario.

Or maybe it's just a different vibe because of the differences you find between a fashion crowd and a folk crowd.

In any case, we enjoyed our visit to the Festival Mode & Design. In a small way it makes up for Slice still not showing the new season of Project Runway.

The Big Star at Blue Skies 2011

2011-08-06T09:58:00.003-04:00

The 20-somethings were super-excited about one of the performers at Blue Skies this year. I'd heard of him, but somehow I never got exposed to his work before.

Fred Penner told us he's doing really well on the college and university campus scene these days.

Mind you, he does have fans who are closer to my age.

On Sunday, Fred gave a workshop titled Respect and Connect with your Audience. His first tip was to demonstrate two ways of taking a drink of water. The wrong way is to have the water bottle on the floor. Stop talking. Bend down. Stand up. Open the bottle. Take a drink. Close the bottle. Bend down. Put the bottle back on the floor. Then resume the show.

The Fred Penner way is to have the bottle at waist height on a stand or stool. While talking to the audience and looking at them, take the bottle and open it. Say "cheers" while raising the bottle. Take your drink while the audience is saying "cheers" back to you. Continue talking to the audience while you put the bottle back.

Besides maintaining a connection with the audience for the whole procedure, this method also avoids displaying any thinning that might be taking place on the top of your head.

(Photos from Blue Skies taken by me and Manon are up on Flickr)

The Unofficial Blue Skies Music Festival Lineup 2011

2011-07-18T18:12:00.007-04:00

The Blue Skies Music Festival in Clarendon Ontario has no website and does not announce its lineup in advance.

However, a little work on Google has turned up a number of artists who say they will be there this year.

Ball and Chain (reliable sources tell me they are participating in a workshop)
Callum Graham
Danny Michel
David Ross Macdonald
Ferron (not confirmed on her website. Pollstar says she’ll be there. )
Fred Penner
Kim Churchill
Lehera - songs
Magoo (no indication that he’ll be at Blue Skies on his website, but come on.)
Matt Anderson
Saritah - youtube

If you want to go to the festival and you don’t have tickets, my experience is that you may be able to get day passes at the gate and if you’re really lucky, someone may show up with a camping pass just when you do. For more unofficial information on Blue Skies, see my other postings:

And here's the Environment Canada Forecast for Sharbot Lake

as of Weds, July 27:

Fri

Sat

Sun

Mon

Post festival updates:

I've learned not to trust the Environment Canada forecast even for 1 day in advance when it comes to Blue Skies. It rained for most of Friday until the late afternoon!

Some other artists who were at Blue Skies this year:

Jonathan Byrd (the fantastic cowboy singer from North Cackalacky)
Fred Penner (the 20-somethings went berzerk over him)
Marky Weinstock (performed in children's area on Sunday at 10am)

Other social media on Blue Skies 2011

Boffin + Wonk - Performers at Blue Skies 2011 - video collection
Youtube - The Parade
Flickr Group

A new time saver for me

2011-07-04T18:40:00.000-04:00

This week, I found a way to shave time off the food preparation portion of my morning routine.

Almost every day, I heat my breakfast in the microwave. Whether it is a leftover pasta dish or fried rice, I give it one minute and thirty seconds. Since I left my parents home where the microwave timer is a knob and began using keypad timers, I have typed 1-3-0-start. But this week, it finally occurred to me that I could type 9-0-start.

If it takes me a tenth of a second to push that extra button, this innovation will save me 18 minutes over the next 30 years. It will save even more time if one day it makes the difference between catching a bus and missing a bus.

Ancient Greek Graffitti

2011-07-03T12:21:00.004-04:00

Manon and I had the pleasure of dining this weekend with her brother and nephews. Before supper arrived, young Daniel illustrated a problem that occurred in ancient Greece when the authorities posted Kraken warnings and then young miscreants came along.

Big Showing for Keir

2011-06-03T18:29:00.002-04:00

Remember in March when I asked you to vote for Keir in the National Gallery's So You Want to Be an Artist competition?

Not only did Keir place in the top 12, he wound up showing as the 3rd place finisher. $500 in arts supplies!

Great Glebe Garage Sale

2011-05-26T17:57:00.003-04:00

Saturday is the Great Glebe Garage Sale.

You should stay home.

The weather forecast is 60% chance of showers. Bank Street is under construction. It’s Ottawa Race Weekend [see Notes below].

But if you insist on going anyway, you might want to:

Read the excellent advice I provided two years ago in Garage Sale - My Schema,
Consider Zoom’s well-written but misguided response: GGGS: Breaking Scrimshaw's rules, and
Listen to Real Grouchy’s The Great Glebe Garage Sale Song!

Notes:

Rain will cut down on how many people put stuff out, and will seriously affect book sales, but sales will go on.
Sure Bank Street is under construction, but it's not like traffic actually moves on Bank Street on a Saturday anyway, never mind during the garage sale.
Ottawa Race Weekend always falls on the GGGS weekend. Any Saturday road closures that affect the Glebe start after 3pm when the sales are over anyway.

Parking Meter Planter in Chinatown

2011-04-09T17:35:00.003-04:00

There's an old parking meter in Chinatown that has been converted into a planter.

I suppose it would cost too much to have done it with all of the old meters.

Grape bags

2011-04-07T18:25:00.004-04:00

So here’s the thing. There are all sorts of big things going on - tsunamis, earth quakes, nuclear disasters, wars, revolutions, elections - but the top item on my “blog about this” list for the past month has been something that bothers me about the bags they put the grapes in at the grocery store. All those other things are more important, but anything I would say has been said and if I don’t get this out of my system, I may never blog again.

It used to be you’d pull a plastic bag off the roller and bag your own grapes. Now they’re bagged for you. I suspect that if I ask Loblaws or one of the other grocers why, they’ll tell me it is for my convenience.

However, I suspect it is so that they can sell more of the grapes that have fallen off the stems. As an experienced grape eater I can tell you that these are the first grapes to go rotten. Back when we bagged our own, the loose grapes would stay in the produce bin and Loblaws would have to throw them out. Now they go home with any customer who isn’t obsessive about choosing a bag without loose grapes.

This is not what bothers me. I see pre-bagged grapes as just another tactic in the retail industry program to sell us things we don’t want. I don’t like taking home bad grapes, but saving a few seconds bagging is almost worth the trade-off.

What bothers me is this: Given that the bags have many holes (for air flow? draining moisture?) do they really need airtight Ziploc seals?

And if they do need airtight Ziploc seals, shouldn’t they be seals that actually work and not ones that won’t stay closed no matter how hard you try to line up the grooves and press on them?

Please vote for Keir

2011-03-04T17:06:00.003-05:00

Keir took this photo by dropping a marble in front of his camera just as he triggered the shutter. If you agree with me that it should be in the National Gallery, you can vote for it using your Facebook account.

Click the photo or this link.

Ottawa Ice Bow

2010-12-18T12:25:00.003-05:00

Did you see the ice bow around the sun yesterday morning? I took some photos, but they were through dirty windows.

My Spaceship Woolie

2010-12-16T18:20:00.004-05:00

Since I’m a member of the knithacker photo pool on Flickr, I uploaded photos of my favourite knitted item. It is the spaceship woolie that Manon made for me. It is mounted on my home office desk and reminds me to aim for the stars.

And aiming for the stars reminds me of my favourite James Thurber fable, the Moth and the Star. [Wikipedia entry]

Seasonal Video from Astronaut Love Triangle

2010-12-04T20:22:00.003-05:00

Have you seen the exciting new holiday video from Astronaut Love Triangle?

I'm a Knithacker?

2010-12-01T17:57:00.005-05:00

Last week, before the weather turned ugly and before my PowerShot died, I took this picture of a pole warmer on Gladstone Ave (north side, just west of Kent Street). On the weekend, I uploaded it to Flickr along with a few other shots of it and today I received this notice:

Group invites

You've been invited to add this photo to the group knithacker.
By group admin lily dustbin

Of course I clicked the "accept invitation" button. It took me to the knithacker page where I was told that to submit a photo, I would have to become a member. No membership fee, so I signed up and now my photo is one of the 5,306 items in the knithacker group pool.

I feel a bit like a fraud, but the invitation still made me happy.

p.s. I know that other local bloggers have spotted some of these, but I'm not sure if anybody caught this one and I don't have time to search around because I promised to have fried rice ready when Manon gets home.

Scary Keyboard

2010-11-29T10:15:00.001-05:00

Back in the summer, I got a new computer at work. I'd been using it without incident for a couple of months before I noticed the warning sticker between the "delete" key and the up arrow.

I nearly jumped out of my chair. Have they given me an exploding keyboard? I wondered.

But then I checked the website on the warning. It has advice on workstation setup, posture, and health and work habits; not bomb disposal tips. So I have relaxed about it.

Grocery Sales Flyers and Egg Sizes

2010-11-21T21:36:00.002-05:00

Do you read sales flyers for the grocery store, circle deals you like and then leave the flyer in the cart when you're done shopping? If so, I'm grateful, because someone like you tipped me off to excellent prices on sugar and berries at the Loblaws last week.

As a thank you, here's a tip for you.

For years, I've been buying extra large eggs on the theory that bigger must mean cheaper per amount of egg.

Guess what.

I was wrong.

Here in Canada, large eggs weigh 56 to 62 grams and extra-large eggs weigh 63 to 69 grams. So an extra-large egg is about 12% heavier than a large egg. This means extra-large eggs will be worth buying if they're less than 12% more expensive. So if a dozen large eggs are $2.17, extra-large eggs are worth buying if they are less than $2.43.

Where I've been shopping, a dozen extra-large eggs are priced much higher than $2.43.

So now I'm buying large eggs.

And I'm eating about 12% less on weekend mornings, which is an added bonus.

What you missed at the Proms

2010-10-18T19:30:00.004-04:00

This weekend the Maple Leaf Brass Band performed in two Last Night at the Proms concerts: Saturday in Perth, Sunday in Ottawa.

Unfortunately for the folks in Perth, the Sunday performance was a bigger and more action-packed evening. For example, it featured the British High Commissioner singing a delightful rendition of Burlington Bertie from Bow.

As charming as his excellency is, the ladies still seem to have more appreciation for Garth Hampson's powerful tenor voice. While the audiences in both Perth and Ottawa had the opportunity to hear Garth sing, it was only one lady who had the chance to sing the first verse to Ode to Newfoundland with him after Sunday's performance. [I believe she would have been up for singing all 4 verses, but it had been a long evening for Garth.]

[The Ottawa audience also got to hear the Harmonia Choir who made my eyes all watery with their beautiful renditions of the Ash Grove and All Through the Night.]

Pickle on the 401

2010-10-14T21:59:00.003-04:00

If you're on the 401, west of Kingston, heading to Toronto, and you're hankering for a slice of dill pickle, no problem! Just pull off into the newly renovated rest stop and you can buy one nicely wrapped in plastic for only 99 cents (plus HST).

Deceptive Price Tags

2010-10-06T20:20:00.004-04:00

Over in Estonia, Tanel Mehine at the University of Tartu has discovered that "consumers perceive yellow price tags as presenters of discounts" and suggests that "companies have the opportunity to increase the consumer’s reference price and thereby to raise revenues by changing the colour of the price tag without offering an actual discount."

In his study, he only compared the use of white and yellow labels.

I hope in his next study he looks at the impact of red labels that say "price checked weekly" like they use at Loblaws.

Here are two I found this past weekend next to cat food price tags of $0.79 and $0.85. The weekend before, those tins were priced at $0.75 and a few weeks ago they were on sale at $0.55 each.

From these examples and others, I've come to the conclusion that "price checked weekly" means that Loblaws has checked a price and decided they needed to increase it.

Free Arts and Culture Events

2010-09-22T21:42:00.005-04:00

Did you know that there are many free art and culture events happening this weekend? I suspect you didn't because I only found out from Collective (Gulp) and didn't see it any of my other email and RSS listing subscriptions.

It's all part of Culture Days and it's happening across Canada. There will be performances and exhibitions as well as participatory and learning opportunities. In Ottawa, heavy hitters like the NAC and Arts Court are involved.

This is a link for a search page that lets you look for events by region and category.

This is a link for the Ottawa results.

Spooky Stuff at Value Village

2010-08-22T17:05:00.004-04:00

As part of an excellent suburban adventure yesterday, we went to the Bank Street Value Village. I bought a toy guitar and took some pictures.

Is it just me or does Hallowe'en start earlier every year?

A Paper Towel Mystery

2010-08-17T19:54:00.004-04:00

At my workplace there are two places you find paper towel. The washrooms and the kitchenettes. In both places they use the exact same paper towel, but in different dispensers. I'm not mystified that they use different dispensers, but there is a fundamental difference between them that I do not understand.

The kitchenette dispenser:

The men's room dispenser:

Do you see what I'm talking about? The washroom paper towel dispenser has a lock on it.

Why does the washroom paper towel need protection, while the kitchenette paper towel doesn't?

Uses for Binder Clips - Showing your Canada Day Patriotic Fervour

2010-07-03T14:44:00.003-04:00

Explaining Roller Derby

2010-06-23T21:15:00.004-04:00

If you are a serious fan of this blog, you may have noticed over in the sidebar, in David's shared Google Reader items, the announcement that there is big Ottawa roller derby action this Saturday night at the Sandy Hill Arena.

If Manon and I didn't have a previous commitment, we'd be going. We are serious fans.

I even have a rudimentary understanding of how the sport works and if you are in a restaurant with me, I will be happy to explain it to you using water glasses to represent the pack and salt and pepper shakers to represent the jammers.

If you do not have a chance to dine with me before you go to the roller derby, you might want to try this 2 minute video.

There are some questions I hope to learn the answers to before or during my next roller derby:

Why would a jammer whose team has a commanding lead end a jam before the two minutes are up?
Does a jam end if the other jammer passes the lead jammer?
What's the deal when a jammer gives her star helmet cover to a blocker?

A clematis grows on Lebreton Street

2010-06-13T18:08:00.003-04:00

When I bought my house in February 1993, one of the things that I liked about it was that it had virtually no yard so I wouldn't have to do a lot of yard work.

In the spring, after the snow melted and leaves came out, I discovered that I had several flower beds, an apple tree, a cherry tree, two grape vines and several other trees. Over the years, I've left the trees pretty much alone and put in a few flowering perennials.

Along the fence, I thought it would be great to have irises and clematis. The irises worked out very well. But every time I shelled out for a clematis it would go up a few inches and then die. I tried four or five times before deciding that my soil's not deep enough or it's just not right for clematis.

But now Manon gardens here and look what has reached the top of the fence:

Propeller Dance - Shedding Light - Friday and Saturday

2010-06-07T20:58:00.001-04:00

Tell your friends and buy your tickets to Shedding Light, Propeller Dance's annual performance showcase and silent auction.

Last year's Lift sold out and was named the best dance performance in Ottawa by Ottawa Xpress. Shedding Light

Friday, June 11 and Saturday, June 12th; 7:30pm

Arts Court Theatre, 2 Daly Ave, Ottawa ON

Tickets - $25 (Students or Low Income - $15) Box Office - 613-564-7240 info@artscourt.ca (2 Daly Ave, Ottawa, ON )

Silent Auction - doors at 6:30pm; payment by cash or cheque only

In the Fountain at Ben Franklin Place

2010-06-06T18:03:00.003-04:00

Blogging Woes

2010-06-01T21:18:00.004-04:00

There are two reasons I almost didn't blog this week. First of all, too much happened on the weekend. Then there was Monday.

Friday night, it was Spins'n'Needles. [I had fun, but didn't make anything notable. Ed and Eileen who came with us mod-podged things. Ed did his cell phone and Eileen did a button plate for a kitchen fan. It was inspiring.] [Flickr Photos]

Saturday morning, the Great Glebe Garage Sale. [Major score - a working overhead projector for $10.] [Flickr Photos]

Saturday afternoon, the Rogers Cable guy came and determined that the reason I am not getting channels 61, 64, 67, 68 and 69 is a problem on the main line and not in my house. This struck him as funny because I haven't been getting the channels for several months and I'm the first customer who has complained. Since channel 64 is PBS, I'm guessing that none of the Watertown diehards live in my neighbourhood.

After the cable, I obviously needed a nap.

Saturday night, wow! The Roller Derby. Excellent fun. I've found a sport that I enjoy watching. The Rideau Valley Roller Girls posted blowout victories over the their out-of-town opponents. Let me know if you want to come the next time we go. [Flickr Photos]

Sunday was a busy day here at the house.

Okay. Then Monday. Maybe it was the smoke in the air, but I didn't get a good night's sleep and woke up grumpy. Very tempted to call in sick. Halfway to the bus stop, I put my hand in my pocket and discovered I didn't have my bus pass. Back at home, it didn't turn up. So I tossed my bag in the back seat of the car and sat down in the front to drive to work. As I put the key in the ignition I realized I could hear someone talking even though I hadn't turned the key to start the radio. I listened more closely. "Shut up, fool. Shut up, fool. Shut up, fool..."

It was my Mr T in Your Pocket and button 3 must have gotten pushed in when I dropped the bag. I reached back and shook the bag until Mr T shut up. (Although it is called Mr T in Your Pocket, I keep it in my shoulder bag.)

When I arrived at work and took the bag out of the car, he started up again. I had to adjust everything in the front pocket of the bag to get him to stop.

Work was okay except that something came up that prevented me from going for a swim at lunch.

At home, I thought things were on the upswing. Manon cooked a tasty supper for us. Keir washed the dishes so I didn't have to. There were no good TV shows on so I had a full evening to do a little volunteer coordination for Propeller Dance and write some blog posts.

But first there was a comment to moderate. This is notable because it was an actual comment and not spam. An anonymous person took issue with Marcie's list of exciting things to do in Ottawa. I approved the comment and then went to the posting to put up a reply. But the comment wasn't there. So I went to comment moderation. There were 115 comments awaiting moderation. All spam that I hadn't got around to rejecting. Might as well do this now, I thought.

So I clicked "select all" and then clicked "reject". At least I meant to click "reject". Since the following screen said "115 comments have been published", I must admit that I may clicked "publish" instead.

So instead of blogging last night, I spent the evening deleting comments that you might have found useful if you are looking verifiable sex or a mobile home park in Oswego, but which I found embarrassing.

The comment on Marcie's post appeared for a while and has now vanished again. I suppose I should go to Blogger's known issues page and see if I can find out what's going on, but it's bedtime.

Can anyone in Centretown lend me a pair of walkie-talkies

2010-05-28T18:14:00.002-04:00

For Saturday morning? Just wondering.

There are a lot of Free TVs out there these days

2010-05-27T18:24:00.004-04:00

The above picture of two televisions on Bronson Avenue was taken this past Sunday afternoon. Here are two things about the photo that you might find surprising:

I did not make a u-turn and pick up the TVs.
Whoever put them out couldn't wait 6 days until Saturday, May 29 and try to sell them for a few bucks at the Great Glebe Garage Sale.

Are you going to the GGGS? Say hi if you see me. I will be there with Manon following my usual schema.

A Cake to take you to the Stars

2010-05-20T17:22:00.002-04:00

If you are throwing a party for someone who has negative feelings about aging, I can tell you that an excellent way to prod them towards a more celebretory frame of mind is to make them a cake that looks like a spaceship.

However, I cannot tell you how to make such an awesome cake. You would have to ask the lovely Manon.

After the Razzle

2010-05-16T13:02:00.005-04:00

We had our last showing of On the Razzle last night and I'm surprised to admit that I'm going to miss it. Surprised because I didn't think I was going to enjoy being in the play. As a member of the band, I had five very brief appearances, two of which weren't actually appearances because the band played behind the set where the audience couldn't see us.

For most of the play, I sat upstairs with other cast members, talking, reading old New Yorkers, or singing along with Dean, our banjo player, who will try to play any song anybody mentions. (This could result in a raucous sing-along like when Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline was suggested, or something less inspiring when it was Britney Spear's Baby One More Time.)

This turned out to be an excellent way to spend an evening. That it ends with bowing in front of a couple hundred of applauding people is icing on the cake.

If you get a chance to be in the band for a play, I recommend taking it. As for being an actor, I can't say. All that memorizing seems really hard. Plus the vocal warmups before the show look and sound silly.

My Flickr Set of backstage photos

Go see On the Razzle

2010-05-10T17:50:00.006-04:00

Guess what! I am in a play this week at the Great Canadian Theatre Company, Wednesday through Saturday.

It's Tom Stoppard's On the Razzle and it's this year's lawyers' play. In past years, I've ignored the casting calls from the County of Carleton Law Association, but this year they specifically asked for musicians to play in the brass band called for in the play's script. As far as I know, I'm the only lawyer in Ottawa who actually belongs to a brass band, so I thought it would be churlish not to offer my services.

I passed my audition, perhaps because I played Will Your Anchor Hold, an upbeat hymn from my old Salvation Army tunebook and a favourite of my grandfather's.

Here are some reasons you might like to see On the Razzle:

With 29 cast members, it has a lot more people on stage than you usually get to see at the GCTC;
There will be a reception after each performance;
On the Razzle is a funny play with lots of clever word play and nothing horrible happens to anybody;
Money raised by the performance is going to the GCTC and the very worthwhile Immigrant Women Services Ottawa;
The $100 ticket price gets you a $50 tax receipt;
Your photo could wind up in the society pages of the newspaper; and
The play is set in and near Vienna during a craze for everything Scottish.

On the Razzle by Tom Stoppard

CCLA/GCTC Lawyer Play Fundraiser May 13-15, 2010 at 8pm

Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre, 1233 Wellington St. W (at Holland Ave.)

Tickets: $100 with $50 tax receipt (preview May 12, $35)

Box Office: 613-236-5196

Facebook Event Page

Detoxing the House

2010-05-02T16:43:00.002-04:00

My name is David Scrimshaw and I am a hoarder. But yesterday morning, I went down in the cellar with Manon and filled two bins and a bucket with old paint cans. It was easy for me to part with the spray cans because they are empty. I didn't feel so good about the wall paint cans that I could feel stuff sloshing inside, but then I realized that they were getting so rusty there is a distinct possibility of the cans rusting through before I ever actually use the paint in them.

So then with the bins in the car along with two empty propane cylinders and a book to read while waiting in line it was off to the one day household hazardous waste depot on the other side of the Queensway.

Guess what. I didn't need the book. Norman Street between Booth and Rochester was dedicated to the depot and was swarming with cheerful volunteers in white disposable coveralls. One volunteer directed me in, another asked me for the first three letters of my postal code (full points for compliance with privacy legislation) and and a bunch more emptied my bins and gave them back to me within about a minute.

And nobody gave me any attitude or even teasing about how dangerous looking my paint cans had gotten.

It was all so easy and efficient that it made me want to go to somebody else's house to find more hazardous waste I could drop off.

There are plenty more household hazardous waste depots coming up this year. You can find them at this link on the City's website.

And here's a link that will work for other Canadian cities besides Ottawa.

Missing the Point with Binder Clips?

2010-04-13T20:38:00.003-04:00

Either binder clips are about to get really big or they're about to jump the shark.

Here are the signs:

They now have their own fan blog;
CBC radio is negotiating with several local bloggers for an interview on their uses (sticking point: use of aliases); and
Mumsnet dissed my use of binder clips to hold up my sleeves.

Yes. It's true.

On April first, I noticed a spike in my traffic. This was odd because I hadn't posted for weeks. I thought maybe someone had picked up on a clever joke I blogged. Except I don't remember blogging any clever jokes other than the chia keyboard and it wasn't my idea.

It turns out the hits were coming from a discussion forum on Mumsnet (by parents for parents) that was started by someone calling herself Dumbledoresgirl who wrote:

I've just driven past a couple of young men, ok boys and one had his sleeves pushed up and I couldn't take my eyes off his naked forearms. But it isn't naked forearms per se otherwise men in t-shirts would be sexy, it is the pushed up sleeve business.
Why is this, do you think? (assuming you also find it sexy and it is not just me with some weird perversion)

This generated 142 comments: responses to the question, discussion of what makes a sexy forearm, how exactly the sleeve should be rolled, the importance of the shirt being tucked in, and other fine points. Other comments linked to photos with examples of rolled sleeves. Sexy examples and non-sexy examples.

And at 14:06:33 on 1-April-2010, on the fifth page of comments, FalafelAtYourFeet wrote:

this man has totally missed the point

and linked to Uses for Binder Clips - Holding Up Sleeves, which features this photo:

If you mouseover the picture you'll see it comes with excellent advice. I don't think I missed the point at all.

Brewing Beer

2010-04-12T19:59:00.003-04:00

I recently had the pleasure of joining some other bloggers for a Saturday brunch at the Clocktower. I brought my camera. I didn't take photographs of any of the bloggers because most of them blog under secret identities, but I've learned that if I don't bring my camera somewhere, there will be something I wished I'd taken a picture of.

The Clocktower is a brewpub. This means that they make their own beer on the premises.

This also means that people who work at the Clocktower have to clean out the beer vats.

And it means that I had something to photograph while I was there.

One of the bloggers expressed the hope that the staff at the Clocktower are actually learning the art of brewing beer, rather than learning how to follow a set of steps like you'd follow in making Kool-Aid.

I can see what they mean. I made home brew beer a few times back in the '80s. My beer was never very good, but since then I've figured that if I'm ever in one of those apocalypse situations where they're deciding which people get to stay in the bomb shelter, I'll say "I know how to make beer" and my life will be saved.

Uses for Binder Clips - Thoughtful Gifts and House Forts

2010-04-11T20:00:00.003-04:00

In her latest delightful post, the elusive Woodsy demonstrates two prime uses for binder clips. First we learn that one of her cherished gifts from her father was a metal box of binder clips.

Then we learn that one of her innovative uses for binder clips was building indoor forts with her sons:

My favourite use for binder clips will always be the bed sheet forts that the boys and I would build using clips to secure the half dozen or more sheets to tables and chairs - hours of fun.

Of course, long-term readers of this blog already knew that binder clips are a perfect gift for hipster indie girls, but now you know that they are also a perfect gift for single moms (and especially so for hipster indie single moms).

A Cat Pee Solution

2010-04-10T20:06:00.000-04:00

A while ago, we were having a the sort of problem I am reluctant to share with you. This is because even though it's the sort of thing many Ottawa bloggers love to report, it could be embarrassing to one or two feline members of my household. However, I am going to blog about it because:

The potentially embarrassing activity has stopped;
I may be anthropomorphising, for all I know the cats were actually proud of their behaviour; and
The solution I found may benefit you.

Before Christmas, at least one of the cats started peeing on the carpet in the hallway outside our bedroom door. Drexl was caught doing it twice, but that doesn't mean Magi was innocent.

In addition to aggressive cleaning of the wet carpet, we tried a series of measures to get the cats to restrict themselves to the litter box. The most fun of these methods was placing the Hallowe'en mat over the spot. The Hallowe'en mat is a little plastic mat that is wired to a box with batteries and a speaker. When a person or cat steps on the mat, horrifying screams come out of the box. For a couple of days we'd hear screams and then see a cat run for the staircase. But then the wet spot moved to a nearby location.

This is the same thing that happened when we covered the spot with a garbage bag or applied cat repellent spray. The spot just moved somewhere else.

Late in January, I brought some photocopy paper boxes home from work. Within minutes of putting them down on the floor, Drexl had hopped into one and reminded me that she loves being in boxes. This gave me an idea.

I took one of the boxes upstairs. I put the bottom of the box on the primary pee-spot and the lid on the secondary pee-spot.

There has not been an incident anywhere in the house since and it has been at least six weeks (even though the box and the lid have been replaced with what I am told are more aesthetically pleasing alternatives).

My theory is it's about feeling safe and not messing up the place where you sleep.

Two notes:

A friend told her cat's veterinarian about our situation and the vet suggested that Drexl go on drugs. This has made me skeptical of veterinarians.
If you need to borrow a small steam cleaner for carpets, we have one that we haven't used since January.

Uses for Binder Clips - Cleaning the Ceiling

2010-04-09T13:52:00.000-04:00

Hats off to Megan Butcher for finding a second terrific use for finder clips this week -- attaching a wet rag to a broom so she could clean cobwebs off the ceiling.

Megan gets extra points for this because cobwebs are made by spiders and even though Megan has an overwhelming fear of spiders (it's true), she was able to keep her head clear enough to come up with this solution and execute it.

Uses for Binder Clips - Scarfs

2010-04-08T21:35:00.005-04:00

Just the other day, someone I live with was expressing displeasure that her beautiful scarfs are tucked away out of sight. And now, Megan Butcher and Mae Callen have found a solution to this problem that makes excellent use of binder clips.

I understand that the real joy with this scarf display method comes when you shhhhk the scarfs back and forth in a satisfying manner.

Thursday Night: Breaking the Mould

2010-03-07T19:21:00.005-05:00

This Thursday, March 11, 8:15pm-11:30pm at Roosters Coffeehouse, University Centre, Carleton University:

Julie Keon of Ottawa Belly Casts has put together an exhibit of 14 casts of women (including my sweety, the lovely Manon) from a variety of ages, experiences and stages in life. Each cast is accompanied by the woman's personal story or statement.

"Breaking the Mould seeks to educate and inform the community on how to challenge and criticize current popular ideas of the body beautiful. The group hopes to unite all bodies in hopes of changing the perception that some bodies are more valuable than others. Through the power of art and the spoken word, their hope is to mobilize social change."

Face in a Bag

2010-02-21T22:07:00.001-05:00

You can see interesting things on the bus.

Penguin Head on a Fence

2010-02-09T21:27:00.006-05:00

I noticed this little guy outside the Champagne Bath on King Edward Street a little while ago.

New Grouchos on Gladstone

2010-02-07T16:35:00.004-05:00

I spotted these Grouchos nailed to phone poles on Gladstone yesterday.

On the south side, just east of Bronson.

The All-Alone Punchbuggy Emotion

2010-01-31T20:43:00.004-05:00

It seems the psychologists have identified six basic emotions that are experienced by people everywhere. These big 6 emotions are: anger, fear, disgust, amusement, sadness and surprise.

Of course, there's big competition to identify other emotions and expand the list to the big 7 or the even the big 15. The New Scientist has an article exploring 5 less famous emotions that could be added to the list: elevation, interest, gratitude, pride and confusion.

But they've missed that emotion you feel when you see a VW Beetle and there's nobody around to punch.

I got punched four times today. Twice by Manon and twice by Kathy A. Sure I spotted punchbuggies, but only when I was all by myself. Including this Star Trek fan's bug that I think should have been worth two punches.

Hate to be slow?

2010-01-26T21:13:00.003-05:00

I've seen this car with its H82BSLO plate in a handicapped spot a bunch of times. It always makes me wonder how often it gets pulled over for speeding and how the conversation between the traffic cop and the driver goes.

Snowboards at the Skatepark

2010-01-23T16:43:00.001-05:00

I'm fascinated by the skatepark between Ben Franklin Place and Baseline Station. I've taken hundreds of pictures of it and the kids who use it. Unfortunately, it doesn't get much use once the snow sticks. I imagine that even aggressive shovelling wouldn't make it suitable for the skateboards and bikes. I don't think you could turn it into an ice skating surface because the ice wouldn't stay on the sloping sides. In short, I have no solution for how it can be used in the winter.

But these two fellows have the answer. Snowboards. They were cruising down the slope and around the basin and then doing this funny hop to get back up to the top.

If I wasn't so shy, I'd have asked them how they were finding it.

I might also have asked if they were using the skatepark because the toboggan hills had been shut down. When they shut down the toboggan hills, probably they didn't think to also shut down the skateparks.

My Current Preoccupation: Face Tagging on Picasa

2010-01-10T22:44:00.004-05:00

I haven't played Mumu all weekend. Why? I'm too busy identifying faces in my digital photos with Picasa.

It's addictive. First Picasa looked at all the photos on my hard drive. Then it spotted most of the faces. Then I told it who some of the faces were. Then it started guessing at matching faces. That's when it became obsessive.

What's especially fun is when it guesses wrong, but is weirdly close. Like when it thinks Manon is her mom or one of her sons.

There's a quick intro to Picasa 3.6 and its face recognition at MakeUseof.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T11:16:00.004-05:00

Here we see the lovely Manon modelling one of her early Christmas gifts: a pair of Christmas light ear rings. One red and one green.

More Signs: Grouchoes

2009-12-12T11:44:00.004-05:00

Fieldwork from Real Grouchy reveals that the "Lookin' Good" sign was part of a series. For reasons I don't understand, he has decided to call these signs "Scrimshaws". While I am flattered, I feel awkward about it because the anonymous artist might resent my receiving credit for them and I already have an artform named after me.

I swung by Gladstone Avenue this morning and discovered that there are more mysterious signs on the phone poles. These signs don't have the positive messages of the ones put up in October and the artistic style is, to put it politely, less sophisticated.

While I hate to discourage any phone pole art, I'm not sure these even make sense. "Keep it real" "Or be grouchy" Is that a true dichotomy? Couldn't you be grouchy or not grouchy whether you're keeping it real or not? Whatever keeping it real means?

Anyway, when I see signs like these, I'm going to call them "Grouchos".

Lookin' Good

2009-12-08T20:43:00.002-05:00

I walked past this sign back in October.

"Thanks," I thought to the anonymous artist, but I wondered how they knew I'd be lookin' good when I walked by.

My Water Feature

2009-12-06T18:56:00.003-05:00

I've always thought it would be really cool to have an indoor pool. With a water fall. Or even a little fountain. But I've always figured I couldn't afford one.

However, it turns out, all that had to happen for me to have my own little water feature was to get a leak in the 90-year-old pipe that brings water into the house.

At first I was unhappy because it was this spreading puddle of water that I had to wetvac every day. But then several professionals visited my house and we established that it was a pipe leak and one of those professionals dug out around the part of the pipe that is inside the house.

This created the little pool that I have photographed here. A $70 pump and an old garden hose means I no longer have to wetvac 160 gallons of water every day.

I'm sad to say that I'm not allowed to keep this water feature. Because the leak occurs before the water hits my water meter, the City told me I have to fix the problem within 90 days. And since the really cold weather is coming, the excavating company wants to fix it next week.

This reminds me of something you homeowners might want to know. If you need to fix or replace a pipe that is outside your house, don't go to "plumbers" in the Yellow Pages. Go to "excavators".

The Santa Parade

2009-11-15T22:22:00.004-05:00

As you know, I think everyone should play in a brass band and this is because playing harmonic music once a week does something for your mind that is exceptionally good for your mental health and the breath control that comes with playing a wind instrument is exceptionally good for your physical health.

And if learning how to play a brass instrument is beyond you, I recommend you join a choir. You'll get the harmonic music and the breath control. You just won't be as cool.

For example, there were more than 50 floats in this year's Barrhaven Santa Claus parade and I doubt that any of them had choirs in them.

But every year, one of those floats holds the Maple Leaf Brass Band. It is a weird thing to be slowly rolling along Strandherd Drive passing throngs of friendly people while playing Wassail Song, Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, and We Wish You a Merry Christmas over and over again. A weird thing, but also a strangely fun thing.

Because I am in a brass band, when I go to work tomorrow and someone asks me "what did you do on the weekend?" I will say, "well, I was in a parade."

[Click the picture or here to go to a slideshow of parade photos]

Taking risks without flamethrowers

2009-10-29T19:05:00.007-04:00

Last week, I took a little break from reading stories about space pirates to skim through a nonfiction book: Absinthe & flamethrowers: projects and ruminations on the art of living dangerously by William Gurstelle.

Gurstelle believes that most people would lead better lives if they took more risks. The book opens with chapters on why taking risks is a good thing and then moves to chapters on how to perform specific risky activities, like drinking absinthe, driving fast, using a bull whip and making flamethrowers. It was on the activity chapters that I started skimming. I bought into his idea that taking risks will enrich my life, but I suspect I can get that enrichment with activities that don't endanger to my health and the health of others.

For each of the risky activities there are detailed instructions about how to do the activity in the most safe way possible, for example, wear safety goggles if you're flicking a bull whip. Just the same, I'd be more comfortable if people I might come in contact with didn't find it necessary to drive fast or try out their homemade flamethrowers.

Since I don't like to point out a problem without proposing a solution, here are suggestions for anyone who would like to try something scary or risky that should actually make the world a better place.

Sing out loud in public
- Women who are free on Tuesday nights: Did you know that Jody Benjamin is starting a new choir that is open to any woman who wants to join? No auditions, sight-reading ability not required, and those who think they cannot sing are especially encouraged to join.
- Men and women who are free on Wednesday nights: I'm hearing good things about Folka Voca, the Ottawa Folklore Centre Choir)
- Men: Except maybe for the Ottawa Gay Men's Chorus, every mixed choir in Ottawa is desperate for more male singers.
- Everybody: There are a lot of choirs in this town.
Ride your bike on the street and not the sidewalk (Riding on the street is actually less risky, but it feels more risky. Read up on how to ride safely and then do it. It will make you feel tough.)
Try out a new art form
Talk to a stranger
Ask a dictator to stop torturing someone. (A starting point)
Learn something new Even if it's not that risky, it'll do you good.
Write a comment on a blog you've been lurking on (for example, you could comment here with other suggestions for things that people can do that feel risky but will actually make the world a better place.)

Of course, these things don't always work out the first time. Or the second time. I wrote a lot of letters to Botha in South Africa before Apartheid ended.

Here's a video that might inspire you to try a risky thing more than once:

If my ideas don't work for you, and you need to try something that is just plain dangerous, you might want to check out anvil launching. Just please don't do it around my house.

On Hallowe'en, it is okay to be a hobo

2009-10-27T21:32:00.004-04:00

Having hosted many Hallowe'en parties, I have noticed that some of my friends have a serious problem at this time of year - costume anxiety. Costume anxiety seems to especially affect those with a reputation for creativity or artistic talent. They feel pressure to come up with a costume that will impress everyone.

How serious is this problem? Let's just say that far more than one person has confessed to me that they did not come to a Hallowe'en party because they couldn't come up with a "good" costume.

If you have costume anxiety: It's true, you can't go to a Hallowe'en party dressed like you normally dress, but all you have to do is put on a flannel shirt and a tuque. Your presence will be valued far more than your absence. People with elaborate or especially clever costumes will bask in your appreciation. And the other hobos and hosers will relax in your company.

I Need a New Host

2009-10-21T20:37:00.004-04:00

I have a problem. In their continuing efforts to make themselves less valuable to me Rogers and Yahoo will no longer provide me with file hosting after October 26.

This means that I have to bring all the files that I put up on GeoCities somewhere else. For the pictures and html documents it is a hassle, but not a big deal.

The problem file is my Human Bingo Excel file. It is the most popular thing I've done and I am having a hard time finding a place to have it hosted where people can easily download it without having to go to wonky ad-filled sites.

It is 92 KB.

Any ideas?

Shreddy the Snowman

2009-10-15T21:23:00.003-04:00

Two of my colleagues came along as I was snapping this picture.

"You have a fan," said one to the other.

"You're the artist?" I asked.

"I saw the bags there and they just cried out for snowmanification," she replied.

My Monkey Brain and a Trip to the Pool

2009-10-14T22:27:00.004-04:00

Just after filling out my United Way pledge form, I overcame my inclination to sit at my desk through the lunch hour and instead walked to the swimming pool. I had a swim and then walked back to the office. Two thoughts pre-occupied me on the way there and back.

The first was: Keep your eyes peeled for engagement rings. XUP has found five while walking around and I have never found one.

The other thought was: What evil or weak thing am I going to wind up doing because I've exercised willpower and done this virtuous act of exercise? Apparently, we humans have some sort of conservation of morality principle and if we do a virtuous thing, we're more likely to do something that isn't virtuous. And also, each time we exercise willpower, we weaken the chances that we will be able to exercise willpower the next time it is called for. If this is true, it's the sort of thing I chalk up to the monkey brain inside us all.

It occurred to me that if I found an engagement ring, before keeping it, instead of putting up signs saying that I'd found it, maybe I would only do a cursory check to see if someone had lost it. But I didn't find a wedding ring. Even though I walked on the opposite sidewalks on my way back to the office.

However, at about 3:45, I discovered that I could not stop myself from slicing up a potato and microwaving it. And then after I'd eaten it with some of my delicious spicy peanut sauce, I couldn't stop myself from slicing up another potato and eating it with Barbados-style hot sauce. (I finished the peanut sauce with the first potato.)

The potatos are not supposed to be used for late afternoon snacks. They are for when I forget my lunch at home. Under my current regime, I am not supposed to eat snacks. If I am going to eat a snack, microwaved potatoes are more healthy and less expensive than either a Bavarian Creme donut from the Tim Horton's in the cafeteria or a Mars Bar from the candy machine.

I'm just hoping that the potatoes are the end of the payback for the swim. They may not be because I think I see my lunch hour excursion as two separate bouts of exercise - a swim and a walk. Maybe my monkey brain will see two potatoes as being sufficient.

But they were small potatoes.

Notes:

XUP finding stuff - Keepers, Weepers & Creepers

Conservation of morality principle

Buying green can be license for bad behavior, study finds:

Just being around green products can make us behave more altruistically, a new study to be published in a forthcoming issue of Psychological Science has found.
But buying those same products can have the opposite effect. Researchers found that buying green can lead people into less altruistic behaviour, and even make them more likely to steal and lie than after buying conventional products. Buying products that claim to be made with low environmental impact can set up "moral credentials" in people's minds that give license to selfish or questionable behavior.

Our moral thermostat - why being good can give people license to misbehave

Through three psychological experiments, Sonya Sachdeva from Northwestern University found that people who are primed to think well of themselves behave less altruistically than those whose moral identity is threatened. They donate less to charity and they become less likely to make decisions for the good of the environment.

Wearing out willpower:

Rough day at work? You won't feel like exercising

A new study, published today in Psychology and Health, reveals that if you use your willpower to do one task, it depletes you of the willpower to do an entirely different task.

"Cognitive tasks, as well as emotional tasks such as regulating your emotions, can deplete your self-regulatory capacity to exercise," says Kathleen Martin Ginis, associate professor of kinesiology at McMaster University, and lead author of the study.

Peanut butter spicy sauce recipe in Chinese Dumplings at Home

Astronaut Love Triangle: Side Effects at Raw Sugar

2009-09-27T21:43:00.002-04:00

This is the piece that our audiences seem to like the most. Perhaps it is a sign that spoken word is in vogue.

Astronaut Love Triangle: Side Effects at Raw Sugar from David Scrimshaw on Vimeo.

Performed at Raw Sugar at the opening for Milan Ilnyckyj's photo opening. More ALT goodness at astronautlovetriangle.blogspot.com

Astronaut Love Triangle: Avatar Love at Raw Sugar

2009-09-22T22:33:00.002-04:00

I've started putting the video of Astronaut Love Triangle's performance at Raw Sugar up on Vimeo.

Astronaut Love Triangle: Avatar Love from David Scrimshaw on Vimeo.

Mom asks for a big zucchini

2009-09-20T22:53:00.007-04:00

I've received permission to share an email and attached photos that I received on Tuesday from one of my regular readers. I saw her on Labour Day and she was concerned that she had given away too many zucchinis early in the season and wouldn't have any for her own needs. Here is the opening paragraph from the email:

The attached pictures show you what I received after telling Marvin on Friday that I needed a large zucchini to make soup and some baking. They don't include the 17" and 13" ones I dropped off at Paul and MR's this afternoon. Apparently we still have zucchini growing.
[Photos (and zucchinis): Marvin Scrimshaw]

Astronaut Love Triangle performing at a public venue on Friday

2009-08-31T20:09:00.004-04:00

Those notorious space punk artists, Astronaut Love Triangle, will be performing at the opening party for Milan Ilnyckyj's photo opening at Raw Sugar, 7:00pm on Friday, September 4th (692 Somerset).

In addition to their paradigm-shifting and assumption-shattering performance, there will also be live music from Andrea Simms-Karp.

Want to win a Milan pic? Enter his photography for comments contest.

Facebook listing

Keir is selling his art

2009-08-15T15:05:00.005-04:00

From 11am to 6pm, Wednesday to Sunday until the end of the summer, Keir will be selling objets d'art in the pedestrian underpass next to the Rideau Centre [map]. [Underpass 2009]

He's got perfect gifts for the raver who has everything.

A Few Unrelated Thoughts on Punch Buggies

2009-08-06T21:17:00.005-04:00

My friend Kathy can be one of the most oblivious people I know. You can wear a beard for two years, shave it off, and she won't notice. But if she is next to you and a fender of a VW Beetle is just visible a block away, you will get punched.
I often wonder when this punch buggy thing got big. I don't remember it from when I was a kid. Late '80s, early '90s was the first I heard of it.
When I'm on the bus and I see a Beetle, I have an urge to punchbuggy the people around me. Not a serious punch, just a tap of my fist on their shoulders. Last week, I saw two Beetles side by side on Kirkwood at Carling, a blue one and a yellow one. Would I have been arrested if I had run around the bus punch buggying people? Technically, it's battery. There are no citations for "punchbuggy defence" on CanLii, but CanLii is weak on caselaw from the '80s and '90s.
Also, what is the protocol when you see two Beetles at the same time? Is it: punch "punch buggy blue no returns" punch "punchbuggy yellow no returns"? Or can you go: punch punch "punchbuggy blue punchbuggy yellow no returns"?
On Sunday, Embrun will be hosting The Largest Non-Judged VW-Only Event In Canada. I assume there will be a lot of Beetles there. What are they thinking? It starts out all fun and games, but then one person hits a little harder than they meant, the victim retaliates with a harder punch and it escalates. On a normal trip through town or down the highway there are long Beetle-free gaps where apologies can be made and tempers can cool. But not at the Embrun Volksfest. I hope they've hired extra security.

[Zoom plays an advanced version of Punch Buggy with GC. She also links to an excellent set of fair-minded rules for basic Punchbuggy that demonstrate that I am not the first person to wonder about playing while on public transit.]

The 2009 Unofficial Blue Skies Music Festival Page

2009-08-04T21:26:00.007-04:00

The Blue Skies Music Festival has no web page.

I assume this is for some combination of the following reasons:

The Hats don't want more people to know about the festival because there are already too many people begging to buy tickets every year.
The internet runs on electricity that could be generated by nuclear reactors fueled by uranium that might be mined near Clarendon.
A majority of the Hats would like to have a website, but simply cannot agree on whether it should be a blog or wiki, never mind whether to go with Wordpress or Blogspot.

With this void, I have decided to step in and provide some handy reference material.

2009 Main Stage Performers

Friday

7:30 pm Goat Note

8:30 pm O'Darling

9:30 pm James Hill [MySpace Last.fm]

10:30 pm Delhi To Dublin [MySpace]

Saturday

3:00 pm The Abrams Brothers [MySpace]

7:00 pm Splash N'Boots [Last.fm]

8:00 pm evalyn parry [MySpace CBC3 Last.fm]

9:00 pm Notre Dame de Grass [MySpace]

10:00 pm De Temps Antan [MySpace Last.fm]

11:00 pm Jack De Keyzer

Sunday

7:45 pm Bill Staines [MySpace Last.fm]

8:45 pm Matt Andersen

9:45 pm Rant Maggie Rant [MySpace]

10:45 pm James Cohen

11:45 pm C.R. Avery [Myspace]

Tweeners

Links:

Performance Art Equipment Rack

2009-07-31T20:12:00.000-04:00

Another thing that has kept me busy was preparing for the recent Astronaut Love Triangle house concert.

Here is the rack I made for my equipment.

The main components are the base of a swivel chair, the pole from a patio umbrella, vinyl-coated storage hooks, and the swing arm from a desk lamp.

With rope light and a foot-switch cord for decorative purposes.

Uses for Binder Clips: Fashion and Belts

2009-07-30T19:58:00.001-04:00

Megan Butcher demonstrates how a well-placed binder clip keeps the extra portion of her belt from flapping around.

I would do the same but my belt only extends a couple of inches past the buckle and doesn't need to be clipped down. Perhaps the fact that I would have a legitimate reason to wear a binder clip will act as incentive for me to lose some weight.

House Band Reading Series

2009-07-29T19:55:00.003-04:00

Friday night I was back at the Raw Sugar for readings by Rob Mclennan, Megan Butcher and Brendan McNally's House Band.

Again, I took a bunch of photos, but I also drew sketches of Brendan and Rob. I didn't sketch Megan because I've tried before and wasn't happy with the results.

Recommendation: This was just the kind of outing I love on a Friday night - an opportunity to be social and experience live, local art that doesn't require too much energy at the end of the work week.

The House Band reading is an excellent way to experience a novel. The featured guests are always among the top poets or writers in Ottawa.

Links:

Blog Out Loud Ottawa

2009-07-28T19:24:00.004-04:00

I haven't been blogging, but I have been getting out a little bit and taking pictures.

Thursday, I made it to the last half of Blog Out Loud Ottawa. It was a terrific event. An excellent demonstration that blogging can build community.

Because Milan was the official photographer for the event and he has better photographic equipment than I have, I concentrated on taking pictures that he might not take.

This is Milan about to take a picture of me.

And this is me just after taking the picture of Milan.

Lightbulb Art - Another Rock Bud Vase

2009-07-06T22:21:00.004-04:00

One way to get a lightbulb art rock bud vase is to remain married for 50 years and bring a rock from Grand Bank, Newfoundland to your anniversary dinner.

Lightbulb Art - Rock Bud Vase

2009-06-30T22:42:00.004-04:00

All you need to make a bud vase like this is:

2 wire coat hangers (one for wrapping around the rock and part of the other to make a hook for the bulb)
A good-sized rock from Newfoundland
A burned-out and emptied light bulb

It makes a good present for someone who has everything because probably they don't have one of these.

Links:

Dave gets Grumpy: Carts at Food Basics

2009-06-27T17:26:00.004-04:00

Because Sally kindly loaned me her car this afternoon, I was able to load up my plastic bins and reusable bags and go grocery shopping somewhere outside the neighbourhood. I decided to try a Food Basics. I've never been there before but I gathered that they claim to have low prices. I like low prices.

I pulled into the parking lot and walked up to the store with my load of bins and reusable bags. Walking past a cart return area, I noticed that the carts had those little chain things that some stores used to use where you deposit a quarter so that you'll return the cart to the cart area instead of stealing it or leaving it somewhere in the parking lot. Then I saw someone actually return a cart and slip the chain from the cart in front of hers to get her quarter back.

I checked my pocket and discovered I had no change at all. The cart return area at the front had only one cart. I'll grab that, I thought. But before I could get to the free cart, a guy ripped out of the store and conjoined his cart with it.

I swore to myself and walked back to the car. Then I thought, come on, they must have a way to give you a cart when you don't have a quarter. Some sort of key thing. And just because they don't trust you to be civilized with their carts doesn't mean you should drive to another store.

So I walked back to the store. Just behind the cart area I spotted four young fellows in green Food Basics golf shirts. "Is there any way I can get a cart without a quarter?" I asked.

"Best bet would be ask one of the ladies at the courtesy desk," said one of them in a tone of voice that rubbed me the wrong way.

"I'll just shop somewhere else." I turned around, walked back to Sally's car, put the bins and bags in the trunk and drove to a store a good ways further down Carling where the prices were probably higher but the carts were free for the taking.

My decision to drive away from Food Basics was about being pissed off and showing it, but I stand by my decision.

First, I'd rather not shop where the first message upon arrival is that I am not to be trusted with a shopping cart. I've been carefully returning grocery carts to the proper area for more than 30 years. You don't have to hold 25 cents of mine to get me to do that. Even when I'm grumpy or in a hurry.

Second, perhaps I'd have walked in to the courtesy desk and they'd have had a cart right there for me. But perhaps I'd have had to wait in line for ten minutes behind other people with problems and then had to endure more waiting or humiliation because I didn't happen to carry a quarter with me.

Third, the lack of helpfulness of the four young men outside the store and the tone of the fellow who answered suggests to me that other interactions with the staff there might have been similarly useless or annoying.

[By the way, I'd have sent them an email about this, but they only let you contact them with one of those contact forms and their form just adds to my grumpiness.]

After word: Sally's Show

2009-06-21T18:32:00.003-04:00

Sally Robinson's cd launch was an amazing show. More proof that if I tell you to go to something, you should go.

In addition to all the families in the audience, there were some nice family moments on stage. In the first half, Ann Downey and her son, Jonathan Werk, gave a beautiful bass viol and oboe accompaniment to House, a song about the old family house. In the second half, when Sally had to do a costume change, her sister came up and played Tammy on the piano while Sally changed behind it. Besides being a lovely moment, it demonstrated that knowing how to play just one song on the piano can come in handy.

Sally is excellent at passing on performing tips from the stage, for example:

I have to breathe in through my nostrils or I'll start bawling.

I've got a bunch of photos of the show up on Flickr.

[Also a ton of photos from the Propeller Dance show.]

See Propeller Dance's Lift on Friday June 19

2009-06-14T22:21:00.002-04:00

This is another must-see recommendation.

Honestly. I am not telling you should see this because your presence will be supporting people who are doing good work.

I am telling you that you should go to the Propeller Dance show because it will do you good. {Lift} a celebration and evening of performance works by Propeller Dance artists Performances Live Music Silent Auction Regular $26 Special Supporter $56 Box office 613-236-5196 Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre Mainstage Friday June 19, 2009 at 7:00 pm

P.S. There are some very cool things in the Silent Auction

Sally Robinson's S-Files Launch - Weds. June 17

2009-06-11T21:38:00.004-04:00

Let me put it this way:

Do not miss Sally's CD launch

Sally has composed an album full of wonderful new songs (the S Files) and you get to hear them.

I've known Sally a long time and she's always been known to come up with fun songs, but something happened a couple of years ago. Like she started channelling Cole Porter and began pumping out remarkable combinations of music and lyrics.

I'm sure this won't be the only opportunity to hear her sing these songs, but it will be the only time they are "launched". All of the backup musicians will be there. They're an outstanding bunch. And the venue, the Fourth Stage, is the perfect intimate setting for this music.

Details:

National Arts Centre Fourth Stage Wed. June 17, 7:30pm the National Arts Centre Fourth Stage (map)

$15 adults, $10 students

Musicians include: Vince Halfhide, Kenny Kanwisher, Derek Loewen, Michael Ball, Ann Downey & Jody Benjamin.

Facebook

Square Zero 3

2009-05-31T18:20:00.005-04:00

If you're reading this before 8pm on Sunday Night (May 31) you should get yourself over to Rideau Street to see Square Zero 3.

It's a really cool set of performance pieces put on by Collective Gulp and sponsored with City of Ottawa funding.

In the first piece, an old-school overhead projector is part of the performance. Excellent fun and makes for cool James Bond opening bits.

In the second piece, Alexis and Elizabeth have fun with randomness.

In the third piece, Megan Jerome tells beautiful stories and sings beautiful songs with her beautiful voice. One of them is an ode to the Ottawa man who wears aluminum foil and plastic. It might make your eyes get all wet.

square zero 3: intimate exchanges May 29, 30, 31, 20098:00pm Movement Arts Ottawa 111a Rideau Street 3rd Floor $12/$10

Links:

Another Garage Sale Tip and Photos

2009-05-24T21:53:00.003-04:00

As I was taking a closer look at this item with a telescoping arm, one of the women selling at this location said, "it's for picking up golf balls."

Another woman instantly added, "if you don't know what it is, you don't need it."

"Good point." I put the stick down. Even though I love telescoping rods.

I've got other photos from yesterday's sale up on Flickr including some stitched panoramas.

Also up on Flickr:

Tomorrow is the Great Glebe Garage Sale

2009-05-22T13:25:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow is the Great Glebe Garage Sale. If you are not sure how to approach it, please refer to my schema for the Great Glebe Garage Sale from last year.

Leuven: Shopping for a Weapon?

2009-05-20T08:40:00.001-04:00

Zander thinks De Blick, a store just near the centre of Leuven, should change its name to “In Case of Zombies Break Glass”.

I agree. Unless I find a Walmart here, De Blick is where I'll be heading if there is a zombie outbreak in Flanders.

Belgian: Tea Over Packaging

2009-05-19T11:12:00.001-04:00

On the one hand, it is terrible that when you order a tea at STUK, the bags comes in little cardboard boxes.

On the other hand, it is fun to turn the boxes inside out and make harmless toy robots with them.

Leuven: Pasta Joints

2009-05-19T08:31:00.003-04:00

So far, most of the restaurants we've tried serve pasta. Particularly spaghetti bolognaise. The restaurant with this posted menu is next to the excellent bread and soup place. We may go there.

But if we do, I will not be ordering a salad. Or frites.

Belgium: Chicken on the Spit

2009-05-18T11:00:00.002-04:00

Does anyone know Flemish? I can't find an online Flemish-English translator. I think these cheery chickens are saying “ook, you're going to eat me”.

Kiekekot makes really good chicken on a spit for what is a reasonable price by local standards.

A warning: If you eat your half-chicken, all of your potato salad, then eat some of Manon's potato salad and some of Manon's half-chicken, you may find yourself waking up 8 hours later with indigestion that tastes just like the delicious blend of herbs and spices the chicken was stuffed with. Except the blend may not seem quite so delicious at 3AM. This may happen even if you ate your chicken with 4 or 5 slices of whole wheat bread.

Leuven: Where to go for a good huidverslapping?

2009-05-18T08:17:00.000-04:00

As much as I would like to be beautiful and well, I'm not sure about that machine the health care practitioner is rubbing on that model's rear end. I'm also not sure I would be into either sinaasappelhuid or huidverslapping.

Leuven: This is no door

2009-05-17T08:01:00.002-04:00

It looks like a door, but it is no door. I believe more things should have this type of sign on them.

This sign is also useful for its Rosetta stone property of telling you how to say "this is no door" in Flemish, English and French.

The restaurant that has this sign, an excellent place for bread and soup, is where I learned the following useful bits of Flemish:

boterhammen - sandwich
kip - chicken
koffie verkeerd - coffee with milk
cheese - kaas
spek of hesp - bacon or ham

You can also pick up some useful bits of Flemish by watching English shows that are subtitled on the hotel room TV. Manon and I both made a point of memorizing "Dat was vreemt" ("that was weird") while watching a pair of Australian guys interview a lame-o Belgian magician.

Leuven: Spot the Workers

2009-05-16T07:53:00.003-04:00

So far my experience is that Belgian workers do not seem to like being photographed. Perhaps they are self-conscious about their outfits.

The Bicycles of Leuven

2009-05-13T15:55:00.004-04:00

I am blogging from the Condo Gardens Leuven over their "free" wifi. It is incredibly slow. I could shell out five euros and get a connection that is "8 times faster", but I think that would only take me to very slow and I'd be feeling annoyed about paying the money.

Leuven is a charming Medieval town in Belgium. I've been here for about 36 hours, but most of that has been spent sleeping. Still, I've taken 139 photos. Many of bicycles.

This is because there are a lot of them and they're different from what I see in Ottawa.

Almost all of the Leuven bicylces:

are both old and old-fashioned;
are 1-speed or 3-speed; and
have dynamo-powered headlights and lots of reflectors.

Many have charming paint jobs.

Keir's Mixed Media

2009-05-10T22:01:00.004-04:00

I managed to get in to the Atrium gallery last week and took some close shots of Keir's pieces, Askew and Hardened.

I reached out to straighten Askew, but then I realized what I was doing.

Tony Fouhse vernissage at Petite Mort

2009-05-04T20:44:00.000-04:00

I had a brief conversation with Tony Fouhse at his opening on Friday night at Gallery La Petite Mort.

Tony: Sneaking pictures?

Me: Sneaking, being obvious, taking...

Tony: Or up close and personal? Like these?

Me: These are definitely up close. No sneaking.

Tony: Not with that kind of camera.

[I proceed to introduce myself, remind him of the time Sally Robinson organized a dinner for Jody Benjamin after Jody told the Ottawa Citizen that if she could have dinner with any four people she'd choose me, the Other Dave, Tony Fouhse and Cindy Deachman.]

Tony: And I'm thinking their were ribs involved.

Me: I think you're right.

[The conversation stalls and there is an awkward pause.]

Tony: Excuse me, I've got to go blog.

Me: Me too.

[Oddly, Tony's blog didn't get updated until 2 days later. Maybe he had to go twitter?]

Young at Art at Centrepointe

2009-05-03T13:33:00.006-04:00

I dropped by Ben Franklin Place on Thursday and discovered they were getting ready to launch the Young at Art exhibition.

I returned on Friday and was able to see the work displayed in the hallways and display cases, but could only look at the work inside the Atrium Gallery through the windows.

This exhibition should banish any concerns you might have that today's digital world and "everybody passes" school culture is creating unmotivated, unskilled young people. The art on display is remarkably strong.

Some of it is even on sale. For example, a striking mixed media piece called Hardened by young Keir MacDonald that you'll come across directly on entering the Gallery.

This show goes to May 26 and there are also shows in Kanata and Orleans.

Ben Franklin Place 100 Centrepointe Drive Ottawa, ON About Young at Art

A Little Uncluttering of My Own

2009-04-23T18:12:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I unsubscribed from Unclutterer. Here is why:

I'm subscribed to so many blogs that if I spend two days away from Google Reader I go to over 1000 unread items.
After you've read Unclutterer for a couple years, you find there aren't really that many new ways to reduce clutter.
In addition to the new posts every day, they also put up "A year ago on Unclutterer" posts and I'm "come on, I already read this."
They have a cute feature called "Unitasker Wednesday" where they show a product that is only good for doing something that is not necessary or that you can already do with common tools you own. Unfortunately they start each post with the caveat: "All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness." I get that they want to prevent comments from clueless newcomers who don't get that it's a joke, but those commenters aren't regular readers. The clueless deserve scorn, not a warning that sucks joy from the regulars.

IE8 and why I am going back to being a late adopter

2009-04-22T22:07:00.004-04:00

When I was growing up, I planned on being an early adopter before the term had been invented. But the reality hasn't panned out that way. Maybe it's because they never came out with the watch phones and jet packs I wanted. Or maybe it's because I'm frugal. In any case, I carry no cell phone, my Windows XP machine is running Microsoft Office 2000 and nothing I own has a GPS in it.

So it was a little odd that last month that I decided to upgrade from Internet Explorer 7 to Internet Explorer 8 without waiting for experts to tell me that the bugs had been worked out.

IE8 has a bunch of new features I like. But...

Until today, for me, and based on my internet searches over the past month, for quite a number of other people, IE8 did not have a "find on this page" feature. You know, the basic crtl-f "find". Like if you're on a complicated page and want to find the link for "contact us", you couldn't do a search for "contact".

I found the answer at The Winhelponline Blog, not at a Microsoft site. Microsoft had me doing a bunch of things that accomplished nothing but waste hours of my time.

So now IE8 is working, but there is still something that bugs me.

I use the security setting that causes IE to tell you when you are on a page that has a mixture of secure and insecure content.

Probably I should find a way to have it not tell me this, because it never tells me that either "nothing on this page is secure" or "everything on this page is secure", only when it's a mixture. If I don't need to know in the all or nothing cases, why do I need to know in the mixed case?

But this is not what's bugging me about IE8. In IE7 and earlier versions, when this situation occurred they said "This page contains both secure and nonsecure items" and and asked "Do you want to display the nonsecure items".

To see everything, you clicked "yes".

In IE8, they ask "Do you want to view only the webpage content that was delivered securely?" And then give an explanation about some content not being delivered by a secure HTTPS connection.

To see everything you click "No".

Now every time the message comes up, I read the question, then the explanation, and then go back to read the question because the explanation made me forget that "No" is the answer I want to give. Maybe this is good exercise for my neural pathways and it's preventing Alzheimers but it makes me cranky.

Eber Irigoyen blogged about this on What do you want to program today? and one of his commenters provided the method for eliminating the message. I'm going to implement it. Then I'm going to submit his post and mine to Seth Godin, the This is Broken guru. And I'm going to go back to waiting until Lifehacker or Windows Secrets tell me it's time to download the new upgrades.

(By the way, I don't care if someone out there likes another browser like Firefox or Chrome more. This is not what this post is about and I may just delete any comments endorsing other browsers.)