things to do when you cant have sex

Recently someone reached this blog by googling things to do when you cant have sex. This person may have been in an obsessive or desperate state of mind because when I tried the same search, I didn't see my site after scanning through Google's first 500 suggested links (with and without safesearch).

I have no special expertise beyond the ordinary person on this topic, but I can focus the question.

First, let's ask why sex is not possible. Here are some possibilities:

1. No partner to do it with;
2. The partner doesn't want to do it;
3. The location is not good for doing it;
4. The equipment isn't working; or
5. Health is too bad to do anything, never mind sex.

Next, what is the goal of the non-sex activity?

1. Do an alternate activity that has some of the benefits of physical intimacy with a partner;
2. Do something in order to get some; or
3. Do something to distract the mind from sex.

Now that we have it broken down like this, I can provide this handy matrix that will be suitable to a wide variety of circumstances in which a person may find themselves in need of...

Things to do when you can't have sex (particularly in Ottawa):

	Next Best Thing	Do Something to Get Some	Take your mind off it
No Partner	auto-stimulation dancing in a crowded place contact improv massage therapy	Looking for a woman: Vegetarian or Asian Cooking Class or join a Choir Looking for a Man: Coed Sports or Language Class	Make music, art or useful things Clean up your place
Partner doesn't want to	Auto-stimulation; dancing in a crowded place contact improv massage therapy	Act like you don't want any yourself If problem continues, move on	Make music, art or useful things Clean up your place
Bad environment	Play fight give neck and shoulder rubs practice tango	Go somewhere you can do it	Play a card game or Werewolf
Equipment failure	Use your imagination Practice massage skills	Try vitamin C ~3g/day; relaxing or Consult physician	Exercise: swim walk bike
In no shape to do anything	Get massage therapy	Consult physician	Lie on couch and watch home improvement shows