Random Rant from Grumpy Guy: the Starbucks Drive-Thru

Drive-Thru Starbucks Originally uploaded by superwattage.

Maybe a Good Idea on Paper

Working on the Western Front out here in Kanata, I’ve noticed no fewer than two (2) Starbucks drive-thrus. I’ve never seen them anywhere else. “What a great idea”, I thought. Well, as they say, I’m sure it made sense on paper. And perhaps those who loathe ever getting out of their cars regardless of time and gas consumed might still find them a valuable contribution to society.

You will all be familiar with the routine at a “normal” Starbucks: you go to the counter and order a “tall Sumatra” (the fact that a “tall” is a “small” may be the subject of another Starbucks rant someday) and, boom! There you go. Done and gone. But, if you order a “grande, half caf/half decaf, low foam, low fat, soymilk latte, shaken – not stirred, with cinnamon, chocolate AND nutmeg on top, wrapped with a bow” they send you to the penalty box to wait your sweet turn. You don’t interfere with those of us who just want to get in, get a coffee, and get out.

Now, imagine this routine at a drive-thru – there is no penalty box. The “just gimme a freakin’ cup of coffee so I can get on with my life” crowd now gets stuck behind the “I define myself by the coffee I drink” posers who clearly have nothing better to do with their day. The jackass in front of me the one and only time I fell into this trap seemed to be ordering for the whole office. Then, after the “barista” (don’t get me started)/window attendant with the ground control headset handed him his trays, he proceeded to take the lids off to inspect the precious cargo. He even sent one back – too much/too little foam, nutmeg, caramel drizzle I can only assume.

So please, just say “no” to Starbucks drive-thrus. You and your blood pressure will thank me.

Note: David Scrimshaw posts Grumpy Guy Rants as a service to the community. Although David can be irritable, cranky, cynical and pessimistic, he is not Grumpy Guy.