Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Skills and knowledge I have acquired with some effort that will be of no help post-apocalypse

  1. Ability at dim sum brunches to spot and order treats such as har gow, siu mai, and woo gok;
  2. Psychic ability to identify the closest on-street parking to a destination bar or restaurant;
  3. Ability to balance stacks of coins on an elbow and catch them in the hand that goes with that elbow;
  4. Knowing what different characters in a Canadian postal code mean about the address, what the acronyms are for the two 3-character groupings and what those acronyms stand for;
  5. Ability to do the Vulcan "live long and prosper" greeting, the Steve Martin "shark bites" hand gesture; and hold my two middle fingers together while spreading the outside fingers apart;
  6. Champion-level mumu skill (current high score > 1800 points);
  7. Ability to identify a Lynn Miles song playing on the radio within the first few notes;
  8. Ability to identify an episode of Star Trek or CSI within ten seconds of viewing;
  9. Ability to reduce any aspect of life to a model in an Excel spreadsheet;
  10. Can recite the alphabet as though all the letters that rhyme with "ee" instead rhyme with "ed" like "Z" does. (A bed, sed, ded, ed, f, jed....)

No comments: