Table Art

The next time you are melting glass with a blowtorch in the dining room and inadvertently burn a hole in your Ikea table top, you don't have to throw out the table. You can do what I did.

1. Find a piece of glass that is somewhat bigger than the burn area and scratch lines in the table around the edge of the glass.
2. Peel off the surface of the table with a pair of pliers and remove the torched bits of cardboard honey-combing underneath. Vaccum out the bits of ash and cardboard.
3. Gather up plasticine from the craft cupboard and your the little toy pirates you've been saving on the windowsill along with a piece of the honeycombing and a smooth surface that is about the size of the hole in the table.

4. While you watch Project Runway Canada, make a sculpture of a giant squid attacking pirates in the ocean on the smooth surface. Use the honeycombing as a maximum height guide.
5. Sneak downstairs and use a spatula to place the sculpture in the hole.
6. Cover the hole with the piece of glass.
7. Go to bed and patiently wait until the next morning to be told that you are brilliant.

If you're not into sculpting a giant squid with pirates, you could instead make this into a tiny terrarium and keep little animals in there.