Saturday, September 02, 2006

My Official Statement

Disclaimers

Who is spoken for: Opinions expressed in postings and comments on this blog are those of nobody but their authors, and given the frequent use of sarcasm, are often not even the authors' opinions.

Accuracy: I actually do try to check some of the facts on this blog. But if I don't give you a reference, I probably didn't check it and am just spouting off. If I did check, I probably didn't go further than Wikipedia.

Privacy? If you tell me something and don't say "don't blog that", I'll deny responsibility for any problems it causes you.

Tone: If what I'm saying would be crazy or offensive to you if I really meant it, it could be I'm using some of that sarcasm I mentioned earlier.

Legal Advice: While David is an Ontario lawyer, his comments about law on this blog should not be taken as legal advice.

Claimers

Life Advice: I stand by some of the advice on this blog. In addition to things you'll find in the postings, I believe life is better when you:

  • Join a brass band or choir: Both give you the transcendant experience of creating harmonic music in a group, and they both force you to controll your breathing
  • Swim: Take as many swimming lessons as you need so that you can do a comfortable stroke and then swim regularly. (If you can't swim because of a phobia or a skin condition, walk or bike, don'trun, it messes you up and you know it does, you running junkies)
  • Sign up for something outside your comfort zone that will be good for you at least once a year. Maybe it's salsa lessons, maybe it's volunteering at a soup kitchen, travelling in scary country. Doesn't matter, stretch yourself.

You can draw: I'm grateful for the compliments I get on my sketches, but seriously, you can draw as well as me, probably better. It's just that you probably don't draw at all. Draw a picture with a black pen. It will look crappy. Then colour it in with colored pencils. You only need the basic set of 12 colours. It'll look great.

Privacy: I was kidding in the disclaimers. This blog is not about embarrassing people. If I've written about you and you're uncomfortable with it, please let me know. Usually I use a pseudonym if I've not asked for your permission. If you'd be happy with your real name or you'd like a different pseudonym, let me know.

Magic is nonsense: It's true that I live a charmed life, but I don't have to believe in mystical forces to know that the universe is more complex than I'll ever understand, that the smallest thing can be astonishing, and that the ugliest person is more beautiful and amazing than any work of art in the world.

6 comments:

zoom! said...

Running doesn't mess us up, it gets our auras flowing freely, or so I was told today by somebody who claimed to be able to see my 'freely-flowing gorgeous blue energy-focused aura.'

I'm sure swimmers have lovely auras too.

GrumpyGuy said...

You forgot the "whereas"s and "now therefore"s in you disclaimer and "claimer".

David Scrimshaw said...

Zoom, I've never had to ice part of my body because it hurt from swimming. I don't think I know any runners who never had to ice knees,ankles, or even their entire legs.

GrumpyGuy, excellent demonstration of my point about sarcasm!

Milan said...

Running definitely smashes up your knees. My father had to have two operations before he finally decided to hang up his trainers and focus on cycling and swimming.

Bill Storm said...

Running is absolutely the best thing you can do. Until one is eleven years old. At that point it becomes much like American football for various parts, as enumerated above. Evolution has provided for Olympic-sized pools and carbon-framed bicycles to solve this problem, so don't fight Mother Nature.

Bill Storm said...

Running is absolutely the best thing you can possibly do for yourself. Until you turn eleven years old. After that, running is akin to American football for certain body parts as enumerated above. Human evolution has brought us Olympic-sized pools and carbon-framed bicycles, so it's best to not fight Mother Nature.