Mr. T in my pocket

One of my best Christmas gifts this year was the always useful Mr. T in your pocket. (Thanks Dave T.) After a bit of practice I can now quickly choose the right button to have Mr. T say any of the following:

1. I pity the fool!
2. Don't make me mad, rrrrr!
3. Shut up, Fool!
4. Quit yo' jibba jibba!
5. Don't gimme no back talk, Sucka!
6. First name: 'Mister', middle name: 'Period', last name: 'T'.*

I haven't yet found an appropriate moment to use it in a courtroom setting. It seems the judges are already prepared to say similar things without the help of artificial aids.

However, it has come in handy around the office and when I've been out with friends.

I'm looking forward to using it the next time I have laryngitis. The only thing is that when I have laryngitis I won't really need four different ways to tell people to stop talking. It's too bad Mr. T wasn't also famous for saying something like "Explain yo'self, fool!" or "Say that again only make sense this time!"

I'm thinking I should develop a similar product called "Dave in your pocket." Here are some things it might say:

• Get out!
• Two beers please.
• How's it goin?
• Play something Irish!
• This bill is outrageous! I wouldn't pay it if I was you.
• There's only one thing worse than being witty...

Any ideas for other things it should say?

* The always not-subtle Kathy A loved pressing the button for this one over and over again.