I've been thinking that living alone probably isn't good for my long-term mental and physical health. At the same time, if I have another person around I'll wind up having to watch TV shows about hurricanes, heart surgery or something just as bad. Since non-humans usually don't hog the remote, maybe it's time I got a dog.
The only thing is, I can't bear the idea of having to support some freeloader. That's why I've decided I want a dog with a day job who can their own way. That's right, if I'm going to open my house to a canine, it will have to be a working dog.
I understand there are a wide variety to choose from, but most would not be compatible with me for one reason or another. For instance, there are no greyhound tracks near Ottawa, and I am not about to move, so a racing dog is no good.
There may be dogfight pits nearby, but I'm opposed to violence in sports, so a fighting dog is out.
I have tremendous respect for sheep dogs, but I wouldn't want to have to drive out to the country every morning at dawn and then back into town at night (I'm serious about not moving, even to the country-side).
Sharing a house with a police dog would be glamourous. My dog's partner could probably even do the driving. My only concern is that it might involve shiftwork and we'd never get to see each other.
Seeing-Eye dogs and those dogs that help wheelchair people have to live with their clients, so they're out.
So... what dog would work days, and not need a drive to work? A cancer-sniffing dog! Apparently dogs have been trained to detect skin cancer, breast cancer and prostate cancer. A skin cancer dog would make for fewer innuendoes, but in my experience dogs don't seem to mind people making jokes about them, so I could go with a breast or prostate dog.
Every morning we would walk to a downtown clinic, say our goodbyes and I'd go off to my job, (okay, I don't have a job now, but I will.) At the end of the work day, I'd swing by the clinic and we'd go home. Every two weeks, we cash our pay cheques and have a little blow-out!