Amazing Lightning Picture

We had a thunderstorm in Ottawa last night at about 11:15pm. I didn't even realize it. But Andrew Knapp did and he scored this photo. <

Laryngitis

I have a ton of stuff I could blog about this weekend.

For instance, here's a picture of my new hanging bud vase made from an emptied light bulb. [Note 1]

My big news today is that I cannot speak. Until about an hour ago, I couldn't even produce a croaking noise. Now, I can speak a few words in a Stephen Hawking voice.

I can also whisper very faintly, but the articles on laryngitis all say that I should just not talk or whisper. [Example]

I'm grateful to Megan for asking about where Wedel is, because that got me out of the house. I went to Loeb and Phuoc Loi for fruit, juice and soup and to Wedel for chocolate.

It is strange experience to be out in the world not speaking. I'm curious about what the sales people thought of me. I smiled, nodded and mouthed "thank you" but didn't make a sound. Did they notice I wasn't speaking? Did they find my overcompensating with the facial expressions to be weird?

We can be sure that Kathy A. thinks I'm weird. To let her know that I couldn't go swimming today, I set up ReadPlease to say "Hello Kathy, this is David Scrimshaw's computer. He has laryngitis and cannot speak. He will not be going swimming today. He can hear you now if you want to say anything." I called her up and after she said "hello", I clicked play and away it went. [If it's still Sunday, May 28th, you can hear what it sounds like by calling my phone. I also used ReadPlease to give me a message that explains I won't be answering the phone or replying to phone calls today.]

Lunch on the Block: New Shawarma Joint and European Chocolate

An Iris Blossom

When I left for school this morning, no blossoms, when I got home, here it was, the first iris of summer. Does my Louisa side gardener Pam have iris blossoms? No. Only me.

Mediterranean Shawarma and Grill

The Mediterranean Shawarma and Grill is the latest business to make a go in one of the city's business death spots. The last enterprise to try this store-front on Gladstone around the corner from Bell Street was the Windy Side Cafeteria. I had their spicy chicken and fries a few times, but it was they weren't very good and it was so obvious that they weren't going to make it, I got depressed going there.

The Mediterranean has lots of tables. Everything is clean. And empty. I was the only customer. The man at the counter talked on a hand-held phone putting it down only long enough to tell me how much to pay him and pour me a glass of water. So, I thought I was going to be giving you folks a bad review. But I actually enjoyed my $4.00 chicken shawarma. Fresh pita, crisp lettuce, the garlic sauce had a bite without being overwhelming, and they'd cooked the chicken just right. I'll be going back if they last long enough.

Wedel: Where I score my chocolate

Living a block from Bell Street has a number of perks. For instance, if you like fire trucks, you get to see a few every week or so. Also, police cruisers are generally within earshot. A less known perk is Wedel. It's a tiny little shop selling East-European food items in what used to be somebody's living room.

I'm not worried about these guys going under. They're around the corner from the Polish church.

And their chocolate selection is impressive. Today, I picked up a 100g bar of Wawel dark chocolate (90% cocoa) for $1.99. It's one serious chocolate hit, and surprisingly smooth and creamy.

About to bloom

These irises are going to pop open any minute now.

I'm taking enormous pride in them even though all I did was stick some bulbs in the ground two years ago.

Energy Drain - Bar Admissions and MuMu

I'd like to explain why I've had no energy for blogging or doing anything else these past few weeks.

I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about the bar admission course I'm taking. Everything we do seems to have a warning attached to it that goes like this:

Please note that all information prepared for this assessment process must be kept confidential. Failure to adhere to this paragraph may be regarded as "Academic Dishonesty" under s. 43(3) of the Licensing Process Policies.

For all I know, my sharing this note with you is such a breach. So let's just talk hypothetically. Imagine you're in a room with 24 people who have just completed their second or third university degree and you have an instructor asking them questions like "How do we communicate with our clients?"

And then the instructor waits for people to raise their hands. And keeps waiting.

And finally a hand goes up and the hand-raiser says, "on the phone? by email?"

"How else?"

I'm the guy who just shouts out "politely".

When the instructor didn't like that answer, I went back to being the guy who just shouts out the obvious answer right away so we don't have the long cricket chirping silences. Until the instructor asked "do we only write contracts so that the lawyers involved can understand them."

"No," I said.

"You don't have to answer so forcefully," said the instructor, "you could say, 'not necessarily'." Now we're back to the cricket chirping silences, because I'm not into unnecessarily equivocal answers.

Alas, as much as I've admired my fellow law student colleagues, I lost some of my optimism last week. Here's a sentence I used to begin a summary in a memo last week about a letter that our "firm" received by mistake:

This letter is like a live cobra that has been tossed through our window. It may have already bitten us, but if we handle it with care, we may escape further harm, get the anti-venom in time and possibly, but not likely, turn it to our advantage.

My fellow firm members deleted the sentence.

Do you see why I feel like my energy is being drained?

Don't play this game

Then here at home, I came across that damned game MuMu because somebody asked if I could find something to occupy their mind^Note1. I had my computer game addiction down to only about 20 minutes a day before this. A MuMu game takes me about 40 minutes. And when I finish one game, I want to play another. I must have spent six or seven hours playing it yesterday. And I'd promised myself I wouldn't play at all.

This morning I played two games and got a score of 653 on my second game. That's a darned high score and I'm hoping it will satisfy me enough that I never play it again. If you're smart, you won't follow the link I've imbedded into the screen shot.

DanceAbility - Monday, May 29, 7PM

This event sold out last year. So although I've volunteered to help out with it, I'm not plugging it to increase sales.

I'm telling you about it because if you go, you'll be happy you did. (And perhaps feel some sort of gratitude that will result in you returning the favour or forgiving me the next time I do something stupid.)

You'll be happy because you'll be part of one of the most engaging performances you've ever seen and will learn something new about dancing. Something you didn't know there was to learn. If I could put it in words and tell you about it, I would. But you have to see it.

SPLASH! An evening of improvisational and choreographed dance by DanceAbility's Sunday community performing group. Co-directors of Sunday group: Renata Soutter and Shara Weaver Music: Dominique Saint-Pierre Special guest: Steve Wint

Come wearing beach wear (sun, swim or surf wear) for a chance to win prizes!

Tickets, $20 by pre-purchase only, will be mailed For payment by VISA call 613-238-7838 or contact theschoolofdance@magma.ca

For alternative ticket purchase arrangements call Renata 819-773-7523 or Shara 240-9775

Tickets will not be available at the door.

Appetizers compliments of Mekong Restaurant

CATCH THE WAVE AND BE MOVED!

Michael Dennis Reading Friday May 26th

I've been told that the Roman Catholic Church has decided that purgatory does not exist. Catholics who had been looking forward to spending time there might want to go to law school so that they are eligible for the Law Society of Upper Canada's 5-week mandatory "Skills and Professional Responsibility Program".

Why am I telling you this when the title of this post would make you think this is about Michael Dennis?

It is because way back before I entered this energy-sapping program, I had a 1-week vacation and the high point of that vacation was an afternoon I spent at Michael Dennis' house.

He made me a sandwich. We talked. He read me a bunch of terrific new poems. We talked some more. I felt like I had won the big prize at a celebrity auction.

You may not know Michael well enough to get him to make you lunch and give you a private reading, but you can go to his public reading on Friday, May 26th, 8PM at Invisible Cinema. He will have fifty copies of his new book of poetry there. The poems will be wonderful. The books will sell out.

Michael's work will not be for you if you like flowery writing or clever phrases that don't make sense.

Michael's probably will be for you if you often don't like poetry, but sometimes do.

Here's the PR copy:

OTTAWA - May 26, 2006. An isolated coast village on Quebec’s north shore provides the setting for the latest collection of work by Ottawa poet Michael Dennis. In the harsh and rugged environment of Magpie, Quebec, a coastal village 200 km from the end of the road, Dennis intersperses his reflections on Canada’s French/English relations, and the war in Iraq with thoughts on loneliness, middle age and lovers who keep us grounded.

Written at a friend’s cottage in the summer of 2005, the poems are a surprising blend of self deprecating humour as Dennis reflects on an urban dweller’s efforts to enjoy the outdoors and the unexpected joy of whale watching out the front window.

Dennis is a journeyman poet who has published 15 books of poetry, practicing his craft in Ottawa for the past 25 years. This collection has an economy and sparse elegance, and delivers its punches with precision and grace.

Dennis reads from the new poetry collection at 8 pm on Friday, May 26 at Invisible Cinema (Bank and Lisgar).

For further information call (613) 741-5001.

[I am 100% positive that Michael didn't write that press release. It uses way more adjectives than he would use. Plus, Michael is a master poet, not a journeyman. Michael wouldn't say he's a "master" in a press release, because of modesty or something, but he also wouldn't use the wrong term.]

• Here's an old poem of Michael's that gives a good flavour of his writing: royal canadian regiment 1956
• Here's what I said after Michael's last book launch. And a Michael Dennis Poem:

  Another Poetry Reading was at another poetry reading where the audience was mostly poetic made up of poets, poet-want-to-be’s poet tasters, poet haters it was the same old shit everyone wanting to be famous then the poetry started it was a kind of non poetry not by intention but by talent there wasn’t any afterwards there was the usual back slapping to be followed by back stabbing there was drinking of course the social lubricant that wine provides being the only saving grace poor cheap red wine from a twist top bottle its slightly subtle flavour the only subtlety of the night

Bike tips

When I lock my bike to a street pole or parking meter, I always put the bike on the side away from the street. That way if it falls down, it will be less likely to get run over by a car.

I also leave my helmet with my bike and don't bother locking it. So far, it seems there isn't a big market for stolen $10 helmets.

Inter-species adoption

This is a photo I took on Dalhousie Street on Friday. I've labelled this inter-species adoption, but it's possible that the smaller tractor is actually the crossbreed offspring of the excavator and a bulldozer.

If you'd like to see substantially better photos from around town, my favourite Ottawa photoblog these days is onvertigo. This link is the picture that got me hooked on Christina Mathers' work.

Mango Alert

The sweet yellow mangos are in the shops on Somerset West.

Yesterday, the lowest priced were $0.99 each at the Phouc Loi, just between Booth and Aline's Unisex Hair.

Inside the shop they are selling attractive bags of ripe rambutans. At about $6.00 a bag they're a lot more expensive than they used to be in Sri Lanka.

But the mangos. Oh the mangos. They're amazing.

Blogs I Like: Asteroidea Press

There are some blogs I really like, but are so revealing of the authors that a paternal urge makes me want to protect them by not making them more public.

Megan Butcher's Blog is one of these.

She also writes about sex. [Apparently there's software out there that will hide selected blog postings from selected IP addresses, so I could hide a recommendation of her blog from certain readers (namely you, Mom and Dad) but I don't have that software.]

This week, Megan has written a powerful series of postings about her experience of anorexia, and I think it's time I got over my hangups and told you that you should read these and if you want another blog that's always interesting and sometimes makes your eyes pop out, add her to your regular reading list.

• She's So Heavy, Part 1
• She's So Heavy, Part 2
• She's So Heavy, Part 3
• She's So Heavy, Part 4
• She's So Heavy, Part 5

On her poetry blog, she has a poem about being in the Toronto General Hospital that goes with the series:

• Crash

If you get a chance to hear her, Megan also gives a good poetry reading.

Party Hosts: Don't be too complacent about liability

If, like me, you follow law news and you host parties, you've been anxiously awaiting the Supreme Court ruling in Childs v. Desormeaux. The Court announced its decision on Friday. Bad news for the paraplegic Zoe Childs, good news for hosts. The media has been reporting it like this:

The Supreme Court of Canada ruled unanimously on Friday that hosts cannot be held legally liable for letting their guests drive home drunk. [CBC news]

But that isn't exactly what they said. Here's a quote from the unanimous decision written by Chief Justice McLachlin with a key phrase in bold:

A social host at a party where alcohol is served is not under a duty of care to members of the public who may be injured by a guest’s actions, unless the host’s conduct implicates him or her in the creation or exacerbation of the risk.

The party that Desmond Desormeaux attended was a BYOB. Desourmeaux started drinking before he got to the party. At the party, he was mostly in a different part of the house from the hosts. He showed no obvious signs of being drunk in the hosts' presence. So, in this case, the hosts' conduct clearly didn't implicate them in the creation or exacerbation of the risk that Desormeaux posed to Zoe Childs and the other people in the car he hit.

What conduct would implicate hosts in the creation or exacerbation of the risk? The Supreme Court has given us no guidance on that topic.

If the conduct did implicate the hosts and give rise to a prima facie duty of care would public policy considerations such as the effect on insurance premiums negate the duty of care? The Court has left that question for another day as well.

My conclusions:

• There is no change in the moral duty we hosts have to try to keep our guests from hurting themselves and others.
• It's still a good idea to mix a weak Sangria, serve plenty of food, and have lots of non-alcoholic alternatives.
• Collect the car keys if you ask Dave T to bring his Cosmo Kit because that just might create or exacerbate the risk.

Galleries - La Petite Mort and SPAO

I went to two openings on Friday night. First the Juan Carlos Noria show at the Galerie la Petite Mort. We were looking forward to it because the Noria work was billed as pornographic. I guess it was, but it was a good illustration that one person's porno is another person's shrug. My friend and art connoisseur S. thought these two babies were an installation. Sort of a counterpoint to the explicit sex paintings. I'd already noticed that the babies were real, but agreed that they would have worked as art. They have lots of unlabelled paintings stacked up in the basement. Along with various artists' portfolios. It's kind of like shopping for art in one of those antique stores on Bank Street south of the canal.

Next, I dropped in on Exhibition No. 1 at the School of Photographic Arts: Ottawa. Lots of energy in the room. With 20 graduating students, they had a great variety of strong work.

The gallery is at 168 Dalhousie, the show is only on until Friday. Worth going. Artist talk on Sunday the 7th from noon to 2:30pm.

Refreshing Beverage - Gloucester Sunrise

Next time you're out somewhere and you want a refreshing non-alcholic beverage, try ordering a Gloucester Sunrise.

If you get Lisa, Dave or Andy at the Manx, they shouldn't need to ask you for the ingredients.

If you're somewhere else, or people don't know, the ingredients are:

• Orange Juice,
• Cranberry Cocktail, and
• Club Soda.

Make sure you ask for it by name.

The Gloucester Sunrise

Paddy Mitchell News

If you're not reading Zoom's Blog regularly and you're interested in Paddy Mitchell, former leader of the Stopwatch Gang, you'll want to read her latest post.

Maple Leaf Brass Band Concert at Tulip Fest - Free

I've been so caught up in other things that I'd forgotten to plug our concert tomorrow.

Saturday, May 6, 1PM - 2:30PM in Commissioner's Park [Between Dow's Lake and Carling Ave; Highest concentration of tulips in the region, roughly 300,000]

The weather forecast:

Cloudy with sunny periods. Wind becoming northwest 20 km/h late in the morning. High 9.

The Blossom Forecast (According to the Tulip Bloom Indicator): 70% in bloom

The Music Forecast: An entertaining selection of up-tempo brass goodness from the magnificent Maple Leaf Brass Band. Including two jazzy tenor solos Lightwalk and Lord, Gimme a Little Nudge.

Other Tulip Fest News Here.

Reverse Graffiti

This guerilla ad campaign in Chicago is made with a stencil and a pressure washer. Kind of the high-tech version of writing on a dirty windshield with your finger.

It reminds me of when I was around 15 and Mom called out "who's the wise guy who wrote 'clean me' on the buffet?" Even without fingerprint technology I got nailed for it and, though it wasn't my turn, I had to dust the living room and dining room.

On Vacation

You see? When I was writing 10,000 word papers, I was posting all sorts of content for you; but now that I'm on vacation, I'm dry.

But I've got some Samuel Pepys news in case you did not follow my recommendation last month to make the his blog a daily read [you have to make it a daily read because if you fall a few days or a week behind it will feel like too much work to keep up].

Today Sam and his wife had a fight. He called her a "beggar" and she called him a "pricklouse". Terry Foreman tells us that "pricklouse" is a derogatory term for a tailor. I have a theory that Elizabeth had another meaning in mind and Samuel knew it, but if he called her out, she would say "a lady such as myself has no idea what you mean, you, sir, have a filthy mind."