Uses for Binder Clips - Stopping the Progress of Nature

A Pinch of Support by Pearl.

Pearl over at Humanyms came up with this clever way to hang onto Autumn.

Uses for Binder Clips - Keys and Reminders

Here's a two-for-one:

Use a big binder clip to keep your keys together;

Use it to clip reminder notes where you need them; or

Do both at the same time.

For those of you who don't use pockets, if you always clip the keys to the same place in your bag, you'll always find them without rooting around for five minutes while your friends stand around wondering how someone as smart as you are can go through the same effort many times every day without figuring out something so basic as keeping keys somewhere easy to locate.

Nominated? Moi?

The Ottawa Xpress is have their annual Best of Ottawa Readers Poll and my blog is nominated! Oddly, the poll form doesn't hotlink to the nominated blogs. So here they all are: Dial 6-1-3_ (music) rob mclennan's blog (lit) The Blog of Amanda Earl (lit/personal) Matilda (personal) Asteroidea Press(personal) David Scrimshaw's Blog (personal) Humanyms (personal) John W. MacDonald's Weblog (personal/photo) Through the Broken Viewfinder (photo) OnVertigo (photo) Space to Live (photo)

All Dressed Up for Nothing

You'll be happy to know that I am gaining a great deal of experience in how to not have a trial. I expect to add to this list in the upcoming weeks, but for those of you who would rather not wait, here are the first five reasons why I have not presented a single argument at trial:

1. The defendant hears about his trial in absentia and appears without a lawyer. As my witness takes the stand, the defendant interupts. "Your honour, I don't understand why this is so complicated..." and continues with an interjection that convinces the judge to adjourn the trial so that the defendant can either get a lawyer or discuss his options with me. [He got a lawyer.]
2. While reading over the evidence for a by-law prosecution, I realize that there are flaws in the charges and when the matter is called in court, I must withdraw the charge.
3. On a prosecution for a "no smoke alarm" ticket, the defendant does not appear. Tickets with set fines under $500 fall under Part 1 of the Provincial Offences Act, if the defendant is not present he is "deemed to not dispute" and found guilty. No calling of evidence or legal argument is required.
4. On a Part 3 prosecution under the Fire Code, the defendant appears, but the fire inspector doesn't. I ask for an adjournment. The justice of the peace turns me down and dismisses the charge because I haven't proved the offence.
5. In Small Claims Court, the student-at-law for the plaintiff has the plaintiff take the stand and the plaintiff gives about fifteen minutes of testimony. Then my learned friend refers to something in her trial brief and the judge asks for a copy. "You should have this," he is told. But he doesn't. And he doesn't have my trial brief either. Even though both were filed and he has the addendum I filed after filing my brief. Trial adjourned so he can read the briefs. [And I gave him my copy, so now I have to make another copy with the tabs and the cirlox and re-do my highlighting and margin notes.]

Random Rant from Grumpy Guy: the Starbucks Drive-Thru

Drive-Thru Starbucks Originally uploaded by superwattage.

Maybe a Good Idea on Paper

Working on the Western Front out here in Kanata, I’ve noticed no fewer than two (2) Starbucks drive-thrus. I’ve never seen them anywhere else. “What a great idea”, I thought. Well, as they say, I’m sure it made sense on paper. And perhaps those who loathe ever getting out of their cars regardless of time and gas consumed might still find them a valuable contribution to society.

You will all be familiar with the routine at a “normal” Starbucks: you go to the counter and order a “tall Sumatra” (the fact that a “tall” is a “small” may be the subject of another Starbucks rant someday) and, boom! There you go. Done and gone. But, if you order a “grande, half caf/half decaf, low foam, low fat, soymilk latte, shaken – not stirred, with cinnamon, chocolate AND nutmeg on top, wrapped with a bow” they send you to the penalty box to wait your sweet turn. You don’t interfere with those of us who just want to get in, get a coffee, and get out.

Now, imagine this routine at a drive-thru – there is no penalty box. The “just gimme a freakin’ cup of coffee so I can get on with my life” crowd now gets stuck behind the “I define myself by the coffee I drink” posers who clearly have nothing better to do with their day. The jackass in front of me the one and only time I fell into this trap seemed to be ordering for the whole office. Then, after the “barista” (don’t get me started)/window attendant with the ground control headset handed him his trays, he proceeded to take the lids off to inspect the precious cargo. He even sent one back – too much/too little foam, nutmeg, caramel drizzle I can only assume.

So please, just say “no” to Starbucks drive-thrus. You and your blood pressure will thank me.

Note: David Scrimshaw posts Grumpy Guy Rants as a service to the community. Although David can be irritable, cranky, cynical and pessimistic, he is not Grumpy Guy.

Help Save the Booth Street Loeb

Help Save Our Neighbourhood Grocery Store LOEB on Booth Street is CLOSING! HELP US TAKE SOME ACTION When: Monday October 30, 2006 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM Where: Somerset West CHC, 55 Eccles Street, 3rd Floor Join With Other Community Residents Help Discuss What To Do Next For more information, contact: Eugene Williams, Health Promoter (613) 238-8210 ext 2243

Perpetual Motion Roadshow #37 - Oct. 20 in Ottawa

I finally made it out to a Perpetual Motion Roadshow. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I'd have been happy to hear more from each of the people who performed, read, spoke or sang.

Luna

Luna Allison from Montreal gave us thoroughly engaging poems. I especially liked her love gone wrong pieces. Excerpts I jotted down:

Love is a project, and I'm a workaholic.

... as long as you're here, you're taking the place of someone who could actually love me.

Dave Fried

Dave Fried from Chicago: punk, gay and funny. He brought the house down with his comparison of the naturalness of being gay compared to the artificial, not-what-God-intended, nature of flying in airplanes.

Ocho

Ocho and his songs made a nice break. I also enjoyed his sound check. Instead of saying "check one two", he sang Bryan Adams Summer of '69.

Elliot

Elliot Harmon does his research. I'd forgotten all about Joust, the arcade game from the early '8os. I wound up dreaming about playing Joust later that night (or early the next morning.)

Jenn W

As an added bonus, I got to sit behind Megan, who was sitting with excellent, erect posture, and not leaning back against the backrest. [Because of this apparently.]

And I also had an excellent angle for drawing a profile of the famous Jenn Whiteford.

Uses for Binder Clips - Photo Framing

If you break a clip on a clip-frame, a binder clip will make a great replacement. Or you can go the way May-Jun Li has gone and make your own frames.

For a less office-y look, you can remove the levers.

Note 1: May-Jun's belly button photos are at the Manx right now, but won't be for much longer.

Note 2: To one of my regular readers who recently expressed surprise over the length of this series and expressed gratitude for not receiving a graduation photo from me in a frame with binder clips, it really wouldn't have been so bad.

Random Rant from Grumpy Guy: Dancing at Starbucks

Dancing at Starbucks
Originally uploaded by greenchartreuse.

We interupt this stream of binder clip postings to bring you the following message from Grumpy Guy:

Why is it that everytime I go to Starbucks for a coffee it sounds as if the "The Way I See It # ____" blurb on the cup sounds like something off of Scrimshaw's blog^*?

Today's entry: "There are many times when dancing is the most unsupportable, ridiculous, unexpected and necessary action. Life should be spent finding those moments and tap dancing through them."

Perhaps I'm just being cynical, but this really doesn't encourage me to buy more coffee.

Sorry...I just had to get that out of my system. I'm OK now. Everyone can go back to work... move along... nothing more to see here.

____________________

* Not necessarily in one of his postings, but in a comment by one of his left-wing, bohemian friends/readers.

Uses for Binder Clips - Last Night at the Proms

Attaching your flag to your music stand.

Uses for Binder Clips - Home Decoration

a postcard stand

Uses for Binder Clips - Fashion Accessories

A techno tie clip Mod cufflinks

Getting better with boredom

KAGEMI© Masafumi Sakamoto

I went to a dance performance this week at the National Arts Centre: Sankai Juku: KAGEMI - Beyond the Metaphors of Mirrors. I'm sorry to say that I didn't really enjoy it. When I realized it was going to be boring, I decided to try to get what I could from it.

Here are some of the thoughts that went through my head:

• Maybe watching this performance will have some sort of positive effect on me that I'm not even aware of. Like meditation.
• Oh, oh. Didgeridoo music. You know you're in trouble when you hear a didgeridoo.
• Is the didgeridoo on Dave T's wank-o-meter? If not, it should be. And worth 25 points.
• It's probably uncomfortable for performers to be covered in powder, but it makes neat effects when they clap their hands.
• Am I jaded, or are obvious birth and death metaphors in a dance performance trite?
• If I review this performance I have to work in how the dancers had only two facial expressions: neutral and the Macaulay Culkin Home Alone screaming face.
• Why do I have to be so negative? Here is a group of artists who are doing their best to present art and I'm trying to come up with witty ways to put them down.
• It's like when the Maple Leaf Brass Band played our concert of inaccessible music in Toronto. Sure, the audience hated it, but we worked hard to get those atonal pieces down and play them as the composers had written them.
• Come to think of it, it is pretty obvious that only one person's artistic vision is informing this show.
• Maybe that's why I enjoy a local DanceAbility, Collective Gulp or Grasshoppa Dance Exchange performance so much more. Even when there's only one choreographer, with so much improvisation, the dancers all contribute to the artistry of the performances.
• So maybe my blog would be better if I had other people working on it.
• Say is that a cello on the soundtrack? Now things will get better. Everything improves when there is cello accompaniment.

Uses for Binder Clips - At the Office

No place to hang your jackets at work?

Attach binder clips to the shelf and you're all set.

Uses for Binder Clips - In the loft

Need something easy to remove that will keep the foamcore board that blocks your skylight in place? Put a screw into the drywall and snap a binder clip onto the head of the screw.

Uses for Binder Clips - In the Kitchen

I am big on binder clips [Wikipedia Entry].

To prevent myself from stealing them from work, I buy large quantities at the office supply store.

It's been said that binder clips are paper clips for grown-ups, but they can do much more than hold paper together.

I keep some in the kitchen for keeping bags sealed after opening.

Al Tuck at the Manx

Al Tuck from PEI played some nice music last night at the Manx.

Darren Arseneault happened to also be in town for the weekend and they ran into each other by chance earlier on Sunday, so Darren brought his banjo and joined in on a few songs.

Katrina Sturton also joined Al on a few, playing strong, confident harmonica lines.

Katrina is new to town and she just bought an accordion. We made sure that Katrina got Sally's contact info. Accordion players need to stick together.

[And if you're wondering about the drawing, this is what happens when I don't properly check my supplies when I go out. I had no black pen, and my only blank index card was one from an obsolete library catalogue.]

Overheard - What to Wear on Elgin

1st Street Person on step: {to young man in grey pinstripe suit with grey tie who had just turned down a request for money} Now if you'd a gone with a yellow tie it would'a worked out better... 2nd Street Person on step: You would have got the job promotion.

Because I'm always thinking:

1. A yellow tie would have worked better.
2. Could style advice be a new line for these guys to go into? I'd pay a buck or two a day to look better. I'd pay even more for them to tell other people how to dress.

Christine Marchant at Abigail's

Christine Marchant used to sing in a trio with Margot and Barb. (For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the trio.) But now she's gone solo and she's putting together an album of material. Saturday night she had a concert in Abigail's living room to debut the songs. Christine has a beautiful voice and writes sweet songs.

One of them had a part that Christine thought could use a yodeller. I think it might work even better with Mexican trumpets. (Of course, almost everything works better with Mexican trumpets.)

Abigail has a well behaved dog named Amos and a good living room for house concerts.

Speaking of living rooms, one day, Christine was at Julia's place (Julia who owns Pukka Gallery) and Christine revealed she'd reached a point where she thought she might never write another song. So Julia made Christine stay in her living room until she wrote a song. It turned out to be great.

This raises a number of possible morals to the story:

1. Julia should invite Christine over more often.
2. Other people should make a point of not letting Christine leave their homes until she has written a song.
3. Perhaps we should all be inviting songwriters over and not letting them leave until they've written a song.