Brass Festival

Karen Donnelly and Elizabeth Simpson of Capital Brassworks

The first night of the Brass Festival went really well. I especially enjoyed being in the audience to hear Capital Brassworks play. They are awesome. Even though they have a French horn instead of an alto horn.

If you are reading this on Saturday before 7:30pm, you can hear more fabulous brass tonight. Click the Google Calendar button for details.

More details on the Festival

Garage Sale - My Schema

It is too late for you to benefit from my GGGS Schema this year, but there are some other neighbourhood sales where it could come in handy as a resource for you. In any case, I will try to remind you of this next year before the sale.

1. Don't make big plans for the late afternoon and evening. You will need a nap when you get home and you won't have energy for much more than a movie or video after supper.
2. Wake up when you wake up, eat breakfast, have coffee. No matter when you get to the Glebe, someone will get there sooner and will get something you would have wanted.
3. Do not arrange to meet someone in the Glebe unless one of you will be hanging out at a particular spot for several hours and will be easygoing about when the other arrives.
4. Go with a friend (or two friends, but no more!), in choosing a sale companion, you should:
1. Have enough in common that you will spend a similar amount of time at various locations, but:
2. Have enough differences that you don't fight over who gets which item.
5. Dress cool and comfy.
6. Wear a wide-brimmed hat.
7. Walk into the Glebe. Do not even think of taking a car into the Glebe until after 3pm. If cycling, lock the bike up and go back to it when finished. Taking a bike through the crowds is a pain.
8. Stay in the shade. Don't cross the street to go to an unshaded sale if you can't see something that catches your interest from a distance.
9. Don't even think of covering every street and seeing every sale. In fact, don't bother with the blocks east of Bank. Lower sales' density, fewer churches.
10. Churches have cool basements, good prices, and public washrooms. They also tend to be pretty well organized at food sales.
11. You can rinse your coffee cup in a church restroom so that it will be available for lemonade or limeade.
12. Do not buy anything that is at store prices. You might think, "but it's here and I'll be saved a trip to Ikea." Stop it!
1. There are no returns at the GGGS.
2. It's probably an Ikea price for dollar store quality.
3. The Glebeoisie have to learn that high pricing means being stuck with junk at the end of the day.
4. When you get home, you will probably realize you didn't want the stupid thing anyway.
13. Buy lemonade from kids as often as your internal organs permit.

It has been a long time since I have shared with you one of my schemas for approaching an Ottawa event. I feel badly that I have left you all on your own and thus likely to have a sub-optimal time.

In the upcoming months, I hope to rectify this situation. If there is a specific Ottawa experience that you are not certain about how to approach, let me know and I will work on a schema for it.

Links:

• My old Bluesfest schema
• Hintonburg Garage Sale: Saturday, May 31 2008

Garage Sale: Limeade with fresh locally grown mint and Diabolo

These young fellows had three operations going. First they enticed us to stop with a box of free children's paperbacks. The first time we went by, they had a copy of Harriet the Spy. We stopped a second time because it had occurred to me that as someone interested in blogging I should have a copy of Harriet the Spy,^[note] but it was gone.

"Would you like a glass of limeade with fresh locally grown mint?" asked a young man in a red t-shirt.

"Limeade with what?" I asked.

"Fresh locally grown mint," he replied.

"Yes," I said, "I would like a glass of limeade with fresh locally grown mint."

His ball-capped friend poured me a glass and asked if I would also like a slice of lemon.

"Yes, please," I said. "Is the mint also organic? No pesticides?"

"Yup, it just grows out of control."

"Organic, free-range," said Manon.

That's when I noticed the diabolo sticks and spinner on the table. "Do you guys do this?"

"I'm learning," said the talker. "He's the diabolo-ist."

"Really?" I asked, "Any chance we could have a demonstration?"

Sure said the lemonade server. "I'm kind of rusty, but I can do a couple of things."

He got the diabolo spinning right off, and then threw it really high. But missed the catch. Still you could tell he knew what he was doing because the toss was straight and he almost made the catch.

He tried again. And again. And again. Just missing each time. It started to get awkward. Manon stopped taking photos and went to look at the books.

And that's when he made the catch. And after that he caught it every time and then did a bunch of cool things where the spinner travelled along the string, then along his arm and whipped around in cool loops.

We applauded profusely. I admire that kid. I would have given up after the third missed catch. It's because he didn't that he is a better diabolo-ist than I will ever be.

_________________________

^[note]Harriet kept a journal that was kind of like a blog where she wrote about all her friends and acquaintances. Everything explodes when her journal is made public. Kind of like when pseudonymous bloggers get outed.

Garage Sale - Arguments for $1

Manon pointed out this fellow with a smart hat and a sign advertising arguments. I had to take photos. But there was no way I was going to buy an argument. I get way more arguing than I need just paying for internet service, never mind what comes with my job.

"How much for an argument?" I asked.

"A dollar for five minutes..." he said.

"That's awfully high," I said.

He pointed out several reasons why it wasn't so high including that he gave high quality arguments and the price was lower than he made TAing.

"I just got a free argument from you," I said and snapped another shot.

"Think of it as a sample," he replied.

I asked, "What qualifies you to sell arguments."

"Seven years of studying philosophy," he replied.

I gave the poor bugger a toonie and wished him good luck.

ARGUMENTS All Kinds Including (but not limited to):

No Unreasonable Topic Refused

- Metaphysical Disputations - Ethical Quandaries - Theological Schisms - Semantic Bombast - Lovers' Quarrels

Garage Sale - Free Things

Every year there is more and more free stuff at the GGGS. Typically placed in boxes by the sidewalk with "free" written on a flap. Some people with items for sale will have a free box, others who are selling nothing will leave a box out while they go about their day.

It worked out that the first stop we made on Saturday morning was at a driveway on Powell where the owners had put out a box labelled "free". Unlike most others who do this, these owners were right there, sitting in their driveway watching people go by.

"This is all free?" I had to ask because the box was loaded with cool things. I decided I couldn't take it all because I didn't want the owners to think I am greedy, so I took a little device that records up to 30 seconds of audio and then plays it back, a mirror with a pretty star frame, and a shiny inflatable tulip. I didn't know what I would do with the tulip, but felt it would come in handy somehow.

I was just about to open the valve to deflate the tulip when I noticed that a woman on a bicycle had stopped. I held up the tulip. "Can you believe they are giving this away?"

"I know," she said, "I was admiring it myself."

Hmm, I thought, maybe I could sell it to her. "What would you do with it?" I asked.

"It would make a nice souvenir for a visitor to Ottawa," she said. "She's ten years old and going home tomorrow."

I handed her the tulip. "Your need is greater than mine."

The owners got a good laugh out of all this. And to demonstrate to you how open-spirited they were, they brought the woman a plastic bag to put the tulip in.

Garage Sale - The Big Plane

Big Plane 019 Originally uploaded by Dave Scrimshaw.

Manon and I had a great time at the Great Glebe Garage Sale on Saturday. My large knapsack was completely filled and I don't believe I spent even $20. Like this little boy, I found that biplane very tempting. I don't think his mom let him buy it because she was calling him to "come on". Since I have to be the one to control what I buy, I found that by taking this picture, I was more able to let someone else have the plane. This is like what I've seen on Clean Sweep. If there is some old thing that you can't use but has sentimental value, they suggest taking a picture of the object and using that to hold all the associated memories and feelings. However, now that I am here at home, I can't help but look at this picture and see a dozen places where that biplane would look great.

John Stiles at the Manx

John Stiles gave a great reading at the Manx on Saturday. I enjoyed it so much that I bought his novel, Taking the Stairs and one of his poetry collections, Creamsicle Stick Shivs. I would have bought two of his short story collections but he'd only brought one copy of Scouts are Cancelled and David O'Meara had promised it to Andrew Farrell because Andrew's copy was "borrowed" and never returned.

Stiles told us during the reading that at his second last reading, his wife told him he'd read so much nobody needed to buy his novel. So at the reading he did in Ithaca on Friday night, he read much less. He clearly also read much less at our reading because a lot of us seemed to need copies of Taking the Stairs.

Nevertheless, I regret not being at the reading where he supposedly read too much because like him, his characters are often from the Annapolis Valley and it's great to hear them speak with the actual accent.

He told us that he'd been trying to sell his novel for ten years and part of his problem was he couldn't find a short description. "It's a love story" and "It's about a struggling writer" weren't capturing the publishers' attention. Finally after he sold it, his friend Corby told him the book was "desperation laced with hope". Stiles called Corby a nasty name and asked "Why couldn't he have come up with that ten years before?" But then he took it back. "Don't quote me on that" and explained that Corby is a great guy.

Links:

• Stiles on John W. MacDonald's Blog
• Stiles on Charles Earl's Through the Broken Viewfinder
• John Stiles on Wikipedia
• See and hear John Stiles

My Speech at the Propeller Dance Launch

Receiving the Plaque from Trillium: Keith de Cruz of the Ontario Trillium Foundation presents a plaque to David (as Propeller Dance pres.) while the Honourable Madeleine Meilleur, MInister of Community and Social Services and Senator Jim "Big Jim" Munson look on. Photo: M. Blouin

I had to give a speech yesterday. It was the Propeller Dance Launch. We wanted to acknowledge the large grant the Ontario Trillium Foundation gave us and to show all our supporters what we've been up to in the year since we became an independent organization.

For a change, I actually wrote down what I was going to say in advance. It worked much better than having three bullet points. But even so, I left out a sentence. Fortunately, I was also the MC and I just said the sentence the next time I had the microphone and nobody knew the difference.

Here is how my speech started:

Hello, my name is David Scrimshaw. They have asked me to MC this event because I am the president of of Propeller Dance. But I’m not just the president, I’m also a student in the Monday Night class. I am in the class because Propeller Dance is open to everyone....

I've put more details about the Launch on the Propeller Dance blog.

Graffitti that bugs me

Lebreton Station WB 002 Originally uploaded by Dave Scrimshaw.

There is graffitti on the canal wall behind the westbound bus stop at Lebreton Station. Someone took the trouble to climb a fence, go down into the canal and paint the words "hue suck" in metre high white letters with black outlining. I suppose it is possible that the artist is making a statement against colours. They used white paint. Still it seems almost certain that it is intended to be a punnish insult to everyone who reads it. If I ever get the energy and nerve to go somewhere I'm not allowed to go, wade around in possibly polluted water, and paint seven very large letters, I hope that I will come up with something better to write.

The Mysterious Junk Garden of Booth Street

I have become mystified by the shifting terrain in front of Chado's Auto Body Shop and Cousin Edy's Garage on Booth Street. At first when the snow melted, I thought the junk had been buried after not being picked up on garbage days. But as a found object artist, some of the junk caught my eye.

Like the broken aquarium. But when I got closer to it, I realized that its placement didn't seem accidental. It seemed more artful.

Then I noticed that other objects seemed to be deliberately arranged.

And almost every day there is a new piece added or the old pieces have been rearranged somehow.

Is it art? Is it outsider art?

[More photos on Flickr]

Something New in Graffitti

Couch Graffitti 001

This chesterfield cushion was placed at the corner of Bronson and Slater. Next to the field that has the big legal graffitti wall. I'd been wondering what good-citizen taggers do when the legal graffitti wall is full. They wouldn't want to cover up another artist's work, and they wouldn't want to paint on a surface where it's not legal. Here is the answer. On garbage days, there are discarded sofas on every second block at this time of year. I bet the upholstery is almost as easy to paint on as canvas.

Survival Advice: Alien Abduction

Something I truly appreciate about the internet is how much work it has taken away from me. As someone with a wide knowledge of threats and safety precautions, I feel a tremendous responsibility to share this knowledge with those of you who have spent your time learning less urgent things like how to knit or how to care for tropical fish. I have been berating myself for not preparing a guide on how to avoid alien abduction.

Fortunately, the brilliant and courageous Dr. M. Egan of Alien Abduction Sciences has prepared a concise video that will give you the basics you need to know.

Pay 1% Less for Just About Everything and give Dave $10

This is all about getting a President's Choice MasterCard.
If you cannot pay off your credit card balance every month, stop reading this post now and move on. [Suggestion 1: Managing Your Finances Suggestion 2: Kittens]
I've been meaning to tell you that you should get a no-fee credit card that gives you points that can be directly turned into groceries at a major supermarket chain. Then when you have this card, you should use it for everything that you can use it for.
I'm telling you now because there is something in it for me besides your possible gratitude.
1) Why pay with a No-Fee Credit Card:

• Except for Canadian Tire and home repair guys, you rarely get a discount for paying with cash. When you withdraw cash from a bank machine you pay fees that may be as high as $3.00 on a $20 withdrawal. Even a $200 withdrawal from your own bank's machine likely has a $1 fee, or you're paying $5 to $10 for unlimited withdrawals.
• You stop receiving interest on cash when you withdraw it from your account. You stop receiving interest on debit payments when you make the payment. You stop receiving interest on the amount of a credit card purchase when you pay the credit card bill, often more than a month after the purchase.
• You credit card statements become a useful reference for tracking your spending patterns.

2) Why a Points Card?

• Points cards give you something back from your purchase.
• You're paying off the bill every month so the higher interest rate doesn't matter to you.

3) Why to Avoid Various types of Points Cards

• If the card is going to give 1% of your purchases to a charity, you could give that money to charity yourself and get a tax receipt.
• If the points are going towards eventually buying a particular type of car, you may find yourself not actually wanting that car when you've got the points.
• If the points let you buy things in a catalogue, you will find that the items in the catalogue are over-priced. (Say $1000 gets you 1 million points on the catalogue card. It will take 2 million points to buy a kettle that you could buy for $10.00 at Canadian Tire. $10.00 is 0.5% of $2000).
• If the points let you get air miles or frequent flyer points, you will discover translate to roughly 0.5% back on your purchases and you are more limited in flight times than if you bought discounted tickets outright.

4) Why a card that lets you buy groceries?
You always need to buy food. Spend a $1000 on your credit card, you can apply $10 to your grocery bill. Even if the card is for a supermarket that you don't go to every time, you're going to go to a Loblaws or its equivalent a few times a year for basics. If you need your credit card bonus to feel like a reward, use it buy chocolate.
5) Which card to get?
The only one I know about is the President's Choice MasterCard. 1% of your purchases (on everything, not just groceries, and not just at Loblaws and its affiliates) comes back to you as money you can spend on your groceries.
6) What's in it for Dave?
PC Mastercard is having a promotion. If you sign up on the phone [1-866-745-6812] and use the code 336073, we'll each get 10,000 points ($10) to spend on our groceries. You'll have to earn another 10,000 points (by spending $1000 on the card or by other promotions) before you can use the bonus. (Disclaimer: I'm not aware of a way you can get a better benefit for yourself in signing up for the card that doesn't help me out, but there could be such a way.)
Call 1-866-745-6812 to apply for the PC MasterCard call by Aug 21, 2008 provide your referral code 157317 More Info: pcfinancial.ca/friend

Another step closer to the Robot Rebellion

Rocky the robotic squirrel can flick its tail and chatter. Can it also puncture your neck? [Times photo: Dirk Shadd]

I want to draw to your attention that deluded or race traitor Scientists have invented a robot squirrel.

While I have nothing against squirrels, I am hoping that those of you who see them as evil vermin will finally realize the gravity of the upcoming robot uprising and you will begin to prepare.

• Partan, S. (2004). Animal Robots. Pages 952-955 in M. Bekoff (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Animal Behavior, Westport, CT: Greenwood Publishing Group. pdf
• It seems squirrels are popular in parts of England.

Propeller Dance is coming to the NAC

Propeller Dance Performance and Silent Auction June 3 and 4, 7:00pm to 9:00pm NAC Fourth Stage [53 Elgin St Ottawa, ON]

Innovative and inspirational Dance Performance by members of the Propeller Dance Performing Group and Students in Propeller Dance training programs.

Students in the Monday night class will perform on Tuesday June 3rd. One of those students has never performed dance in front of an audience and is somewhat nervous about it. This means that he is not going to explicitly tell people that he will be performing.

Propeller Dance provides dance training and performance opportunities to people with and without disabilities.

Tickets $20 available at the NAC Box Office, through Ticketmaster and from Propeller Dance members (like David Scrimshaw.) Links:

• propellerdance.com
• propellerdance.blogspot.com

Uses for Fabric - Decorate Binder Clips

Jess at How About Orange found herself unhappy with her letter opener and her binder clips. What to do? Cover them with printed fabric.

[Thanks to Kerri for the referral]

The Brass Festival is Coming: Get Your Tickets Now!

The Maple Leaf Brass Band is sponsoring two nights of exceptional music here in Ottawa. Friday, May 30: The Maple Leaf Brass Band and Capital Brassworks

• Two concerts in one, the Maple Leaf Brass Band followed by
• Capital Brassworks (warning: Capital Brassworks has French horns instead of alto horns).

Saturday, May 31: Soloists: Karen Donnelly, Nick Atkinson, and Nick Hudson; backed by the Maple Leaf Brass Band

• Karen Donnelly, Principal Trumpet NACO
• Nicholas Atkinson, Principal Tuba NACO
• Nick Hudson, Principal Trombone of the Williams Fairey Band Both Nights: 7:30pm to 10pm St Matthias Church 555 Parkdale Avenue, Ottawa, ON Tickets (1-night/2-night prices) (available from band members like me): ADULTS ($15 / $25) SENIORS ($10 / $15) STUDENTS ($10 / $15) FAMILY ($30 / $45) http://ottawabrassfest.ca/

A Reading at Venus Envy

A week ago Saturday, Megan Butcher and Jennifer Whiteford read with Chandra Mayor at Venus Envy.

I enjoyed Megan and Jennifer's work as I always do. Megan interspersed her reading by throwing five paper airplanes into the audience. Although she aimed away from me, two of the planes swerved and hit me right in the chest.

Do you think that means something? Do you have a different answer if I tell you that the planes contained information about a bondage workshop scheduled for June (not sure if it is this year or last year).

I didn't know Chandra's work before, I really liked her reading. She won the Margaret Laurence award and that is entirely appropriate because her writing felt like something Margaret Laurence might have written had she been born fifty years later.

When you go to readings at book stores, if the reader is boring, you find yourself scanning the book covers. At Venus Envy, the readers have to be particularly engaging to keep you from getting distracted by the magazines, DVDs, and other objects intended to help people with their intimate pleasures.

It is proof that the all three were engaging that I didn't look at the wall of strap-on dildos and harnesses behind the readers until after the show. (Photos in the Flickr set.)

Links:

• More photos from the Reading on Flickr
• Venus Envy
• Megan Butcher
• Jennifer Whiteford
• Chandra Mayor

Jennifer Noxon is also a Painter

A week ago this Saturday, Jennifer Noxon showed her paintings at her brother's house in the Glebe. They are really good. More than half were sold. I fear the prices will be higher by the time I have paid off my student loan and can afford to buy one. [More photos on Flickr.]

Of course, Jennifer's music is also a real treat. She has four beautiful songs on her Myspace page.

Ball and Chain at the Elmdale a week ago

The first Saturday in May was another fun, fun Ball and Chain gig at the Elmdale. I sat next to Charline, the young luthier from France who fixed Michael's cracked fiddle. Based on how good it sounds, she did a great job.

I decided to sketch Jody because I sketched Michael a long time ago and still hadn't drawn Jody.

My drawings of Jody weren't quite working out. My first one, I held the pen too tight and got the hat and chin all wrong. On the second one, I was looser, but Charline thought I wasn't there yet. She pointed out that I hadn't got the scoop of the neckline deep enough and she didn't see the earring. I had to admit that I'd made Jody look a lot like Guy Smiley, America's favourite game show host. But still my oppositional defiance disorder kicked in, I didn't want to draw the way someone else wanted.

So I gave Charline a blank index card and my spare pen. She wound up taking a second card and doing both Michael and Jody. It figures that someone who can take pieces of wood and create something that can make you cry when played well can also do lovely whimsical drawings with a pen that's not even meant for drawing.

Jody: Aske me what's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? Dave: I thought there was no difference. Jody: There is, ask me. Dave: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? Jody: About five beers.

Jody and I agree that something we love about the Ball and Chain gigs at the Elmdale is that it is fantastic to see couples in their 70s on the same dance floor as couples in their 20s.

Their next Elmdale gig will be June 7.

Links:

• Charline has some nice black and white shots and two little video
• Photos from the latest gig on Flickr
• The Official but often out of date Ball and Chain website
• Ball and Chain on Myspace (featuring 4 songs, including I Love the Life I Live, the song Jody is introducing in the picture)
• Elmdale House Tavern

Dreams and Going Back to School - the Dark Side

Do you ever have dreams where you're in school and you thought you had dropped a course but the paperwork didn't go through and now you have to write the exam even though you didn't attend a single class?

Or that you have to hand in an assignment, but for some reason you haven't done it and now you have 30 minutes in which to complete it and get to the other side of campus to hand it in?

I had recurring dreams like that into my 30s. Gradually they went away.

Then I went back to school in my 40s and I once again have anxiety dreams about exams and assignments.

In a recent one, I was assigned to do something about linguistic ambiguity; and I had decided to take a piece of text, print it in big letters and block out the ascenders and descenders in the letters (the parts of the letters that fall above and below a lowercase "o"). In the dream I was aware that this was not what the prof wanted me to do, but I was convinced that I could give an explanation that would allow me to get a passing grade.

I had the text picked out, a song lyric, and I knew how to accomplish the printing and removal, but I kept having computer problems that wouldn't allow me to get it done. I was going nuts and then I woke up. The anxiety from this dream lingered with me so long, that I wound up actually doing the task for the first verse and chorus.

Can you tell what song it is?